


I hope you had the time of your life

by CrazedwiththeCullens



Series: Like a Wolf's Cry in the Distance [3]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Love Triangles, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 03:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazedwiththeCullens/pseuds/CrazedwiththeCullens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Edward dumps Riley, his lover of nearly two years for Bella in front of everyone at Forks High? Will Riley fight for Edward’s Love, move on, or is it the end for him…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Hope you had the time of your life

**Author's Note:**

> First a warning, this story deals with suicidal thoughts, underage sex and man on man sex, if none of this is to your liking, I suggest you read no further.  
> Now…  
> This is my first fanfiction story, so please don’t be too unkind.  
> I came up with this story one afternoon while driving the 40 km through the bush from the nearest major centre to my home. It takes about 30 minutes with beautiful sceneryand leaves plenty of time for contemplation.  
> Two songs played on the radio insuccession, Greenday’s ‘Time of your life’ followed by Madonna’s ‘like a prayer’ the images that flashed through my mind were the basis for this story. I fleshed them out based on a little heart ache of my own.  
> I originally had written a completely new character for this story, but I thought it might work better if I used a recognisable person from fandom, so I picked Riley Biers, mainly because he was played in Eclipse by the hot Australian actor Xavier Samuel. I have taken great liberties with his character, basing it instead on a close friend of mine (who I have promised will remain nameless – another reason for adopting Riley)  
> Everything is cannon (more or less, at least according to the movie ‘twilight’) up until Edward drives Bella to school. Of course there is a hell of a lot going on behind the scenes that we didn’t see in the movie… but I guess we all thought that anyway.  
> A note of warning: we spell words differently down under, I have used a US English spell check so I hope that clears it up, but if not I apologize and hope it doesn’t interrupt the flow of the story.  
> Of course all characters belong to SM, I’ve just had fun playing with them. Thanks SM, your boys and girls have got me though some tough times!!!  
> See end for more notes -

RPOV  
I stood talking to the Cullen’s; I hadn’t completely lost my slight Australian accent, even though it had been four years since we emigrated to Forks.  
I would have said it was a usual morning at Forks High, well usual to everyone but the five vampires and the two students who knew their secret, of which, of course, I was one.  
One of said Vampires and one of the said students hadn’t yet showed, which was uncharacteristic. Edward was usually very punctual. As for the… Bella, I couldn’t care less if I never saw her again, Edward was spending way too much time with her.  
Edward hadn’t been in my bed for over a week, I knew he was with Bella, but Edward refused to answer my questions… He even lied to me! Said he was hunting, which a few impromptu questions of Emmett flushed out… God bless Emm and his naivety.  
She was also the reason Edward bailed on me in Port Angeles. The next day Jessica ‘the killer gob’ was shooting it off about Edward and Bella having dinner.  
As if that wasn’t bad enough I’d had to ring Alice and ask her to come and get me… That hurt. But I couldn’t let Mum know that Edward had abandoned me in a strange city, she already was weary of the time I spent with him.  
Alice didn’t mind, well she didn’t till I started pumping her for information about where the Edward/Bella thing was headed. She was unusually cryptic which made me even more suspicious.  
I can only guess what THEY got up to in OUR meadow… it still hurts that Edward took her there, the place I discovered all those years ago and introduced Edward to just after he and his family arrived in Forks. No I left them to it... I didn’t want to see what they did; I really didn’t want to know if Edward cried out louder when he fucked her then when he made love to me, whether he enjoyed it more…  
The Cullen’s and I were almost inseparable… I knew they didn’t approve of Bella… FULL STOP! Nor Edwards behavior. One human knowing their secret was one thing, but we have been through a lot together, and I was Edwards mate, or at least I thought I was. But bum fuddled Bella the albino Mexican or whatever she was, who face planted herself every day, seemingly as a way of life… no that was going too far.  
Emmett placed his giant arm around my shoulder in a protective gesture as I talked about my fears of Edward and Bella. It was easy for him to do, I was 5’9” he was 6’1”.  
Alice rubbed my arm tenderly.  
Jasper looked concerned and stood ram rod straight and aloof as usual in public to protect me from any stray impulse he may get with all the passing flesh walking around.  
We were actually very close; we shared History together for the last two years; sitting together, doing projects. In the private of the Cullen house, when he only had one human to concentrate on not ripping to pieces, we had great debates on military history, built dioramas of famous battles and generally tooled about as only two history/military nerds could.  
I think he was the most cut up about Edwards behavior… maybe also because he could sense Edwards feelings about Bella and my feelings of desperation. Maybe it was even more than that, but he deeply loved Alice and I loved Edward, so I didn’t even want to think about going there; even though his half smile and dimples should be outlawed by the Geneva convention…  
I knew he had often used his gift over the last week to stabilize my emotions, for which I was enormously thankful, I don’t know how I could have held it together without him… But my emotions were starting to get stronger and even Jasper seemed either unable or unwilling to completely wipe them out.  
Rose looked just plain pissed. I had taken especial care from the beginning to treat her like a princess, knowing she was the hardest nut to crack and it paid off… we had become quite close over the years. I guess I won her heart when I asked her, rather than one of the guys, to show me how to service a car. She was a car fiend and made me look like such a dumb ass, but I took it with good grace and the bond was formed.  
….  
Silence broke out among the usual gaggle of students and unusually the Cullen’s also paid attention to the car arriving. Emmett’s giant paw slipped from my shoulder. I turned from facing them and involuntarily I’m sure, my mouth fell open. Edward’s familiar silver Volvo was pulling up. Edward got out, ran round to the passenger side and opened it to reveal the… Bella.  
He had a broad smile on his face that for the first time I wanted to sandpaper off, then he put his arm around Bella… they went public… they were a public item! I felt myself hyperventilating. All the years Edward and I had been a couple but couldn’t show any affection in public because it would break the vampire code and now!!! I watched agog as they walked past me, Edward didn’t even seem to notice me. It could have been his dark glasses, but I doubt it... That hurt like a mother fucker!  
It took me a few moments to collect myself, and then I made to run after the retreating pair, when Alice stepped into my path.  
“Don’t.” she said…  
I looked at her as if to say ‘why not?’  
“Because it won’t change anything and you will be the one that gets hurt.” She said, pain etched on her tiny face. Little did I know that she saw with her special senses what was about to happen and she wanted to stop it. That she thought I deserved so much better then what was going to happen. But I was determined and I pushed past Alice saying “We’ll see.”  
I finally caught up with Edward and Bella in the quad, “Hey, Edward!” I called out when I caught up. “What’s going on?”  
“What does it look like” Edward said tersely.  
“I can’t believe what it looks like.” I Replied… Edward just glowered at me. “I can’t believe you’ve gone public, I can’t believe you took HER to the meadow… I can’t believe.” I was interrupted.  
“You watched us?” screeched Bella, god she was irritating! Why Edward didn’t gaff tape her gob shut, I don’t know… maybe he had to after I left the meadow… or he found an 8 inch object to shove in it... the thought made me nauseous.  
“Not for long, I have a week stomach.” I retorted as cuttingly as I could. “So how was she? was she worth it…” I said to Edward.  
“You’re disgusting!” said Edward. The words cut through me like a knife.  
“What?” was all I could manage.  
“Your thoughts disgust me… you’re obsessed with sex. You think everything revolves around it.”  
“You think we…” Bella was enraged.  
“Shut it!” I said dismissing her, she was nothing, I needed to concentrate my verbal attack on Edward, but before I could, Edward came to Bella’s aid.  
“Don’t ever talk to her like that again. In fact don’t ever talk to her. You don’t deserve to.”  
“But what about us?” fuck I sounded pathetic and needy.  
“What about it… it’s over; Bella is part of my life now. She is giving me what you never could.” He closed the small distance between us and towered over me; doing his ‘menacing vampire’ thing… it worked on everyone but me... I just eyeballed him back, daring him to physically rip me apart in front of everyone as he was ripping my heart apart.  
“Don’t ever come near us again with your lecherous thoughts… It’s over.” Edward breathed over me, and with that Edward put his arm around Bella as if to shield her from a rabid dog and escorted her to class.  
I stood there with everyone staring at me. I didn’t know whether to scream or cry. Neither I was going to do in front of my idiotic class mates, so I rapidly left the area and went up to the woods behind the school.  
There on the same moss covered log that Edward and I held our first stilted conversation, I finally let the tears flow. I sat there sobbing my life out for what seemed like ages.  
I tried to get my head around what had just happened, but it wouldn’t work. All I could think of was that it was over, there was nothing left. Then the thought came to me. There was nothing left to live for, so why bother…  
It was amazing how fast your mind can come up with a plan. The cliffs at La Push, Edward and the vampires can’t go there, the wolves will be at work or in school; none of them could stop me… though at the moment I doubted if Edward would bother. Another sob left my exhausted body.  
I finally pulled myself together and decide to make use of everyone being in class to have one last walk around the school in private, remember the happy moments Edward and I had, one last time, before the end.  
I gave the log one last loving stroke on the place where Edward used to sit, before I left it for ever.  
This is the exact spot where our bond started, where Edward had comforted me when I thought my mother was dying of cancer… fortunately Carlisle had saved her… how long ago that seemed now, yet it must not even be two years…  
I walked the familiar trail through the woods coming out at the playing fields. I saw the stalls where I used to sit and watch the Cullen’s triumph at their particular sporting choice, only there because of them; my interest in organised sport nil.  
I remember sitting in those stalls in the pouring rain watching Edward compete in track and field, he was so happy to see me there to cheer him home… Would he notice now?  
I headed back to the now deserted school, everyone in class.  
I walked through the quiet cafeteria, scene of my worst times at school before the Cullen’s arrived. When I was a loner, left out of the social cliques that control every school’s student body. I eventually deserted the cafeteria to eat outside, alone with my thoughts… Till Edward invited me to sit at their table. They were loners, so was I; it was a natural fit.  
I ran my fingers along the ‘Cullen’s table’ as it was called; no one dared sit there but them. I remembered all the jokes we shared, the laughter. Where we had planned celebrations and commiserations. The laughter and tears that had been shed there over two years seemed to seep into the cheap wood of the table, to bring it alive.  
I wonder what they will say sitting here when I’m gone… Edward had already invited Bella over to eat with them. Will they welcome her after this? Probably, the life of one person can’t change the lives of immortals. They will just keep going. How many friends must they have lost to ageing over the decades? They are used to it. I’ll be forgotten by the end of the week.  
I wonder if they’ll come to the funeral? I doubt it… Anyway Mum will probably go spastic and insist on only church people or something.  
Still what do I care, ‘I’ll be there in body but not spirit’… I thought with a smile, ‘God I love black humor’. Edward and I had the same sense of humor; I used to have him in stitches, often in the worst possible moments to be laughing. Not anymore… The smile disappeared from my face.  
I headed up the corridors, past the Principal’s office. We were such swats we never needed to go there unless it was for school work.  
I walked past the lab doors and happened to glance in; there was a class of suitably bored teenagers in there. I remembered the secret experiments we used to do. The time we almost blew up the lab accidentally on purpose… that took a lot of explaining, which with Edwards charm and my wit we talked our way out of… come to think of it we DID have to go to the Principal’s office after that one!  
A smile graced my face at the memory… it was soon wiped off. Bella wouldn’t be so rash; she wouldn’t get Edward into trouble. Maybe that’s why he likes her better?  
I went into the now silent music room, walked over to the Yamaha and ran my fingers along its cold black mirror surface… I remembered how Edward could make the instrument sing, his hands gliding over its keys, his long skilled fingers hitting every note to perfection. He was the musical star of Forks High, so much so that the music teacher, Mum, gave him after hours access to the music room to practice, his own key! Not that he needed to practice, he had 100 years of that, and not that he needed access to the Yamaha, the Cullen’s had a superior instrument at their house. No it was another chance for us to be alone. Away from my prying mother, away from the superhuman hearing of the Cullen family. I wonder if Mum would have given him the key if she knew what we used to get up to in here?  
We would sit for hours, Edward playing his latest composition. He could make my flesh vibrate with the passion of his playing.  
Then there were OUR compositions. He always said I was his muse. My imagination and his creativity, we were an amazing duo. He said the visions in my mind while he played inspired him. He said they were better than the movies…. My blinding ambition for a better world, free from hunger and poverty lead him to compose the ‘Biers’ piano Concerto. All strong notes played at breakneck speed, Rachmaninoff would have been envious of Edward’s Genius.  
Then there was the ‘Riley’ Sonata, soft notes, minor key, but with a strong undercurrent… he said it was written about our love and our lovemaking. He wrote it for my 16th birthday and I loved it. It knocked Beethoven’s Moonlight sonata into a cocked hat.  
I wonder whether that might be the reason we are done… he had exhausted the creativity he can get from me… I’m familiar. Uninspiring. Stale now… He needs a new muse… Bella.  
I wonder if she had already sat by his side on the piano stool and watched him play, compose. I stopped stroking the piano… the image of them together as we used to be, worked to a frenzy of passion by the music and making love on the stool… it sickened me… the instrument that had caused me so much joy was now contaminated. I retracted my hand from it as if it were red hot metal… I wonder what he composes about her. If it were me it would be all staccato notes to match her shrill voice… I left the music room, there was nothing left for me here…  
I then headed to the library. Our home away from home. The hours we had sat there and studied, joked under our breaths, planned and plotted our revenge against Emmett’s latest prank. And made out when no one was looking.  
I walked up to the furthest row of books and remembered that one night when we were ‘studying’ late, we couldn’t wait to get home and we made love propped up against the shelves. It wasn’t the most comfortable place, but for two nerds the smell of old books was an aphrodisiac and the orgasms we had were huge. There was still a cum stain on the carpet… one for the archives… I felt a filthy smile grace my lips.  
That was the only time we actually were game enough to fuck here, though when the Librarian went to lunch we often pleasured each other digitally or occasionally orally… I felt my pants tightening just remembering. But all that too was gone. Smile wiped away, tightness disappeared.  
Bella wouldn’t be so rash… she wouldn’t give herself to Edward freely. I bet she made Edward beg for it. She’d only put out when she got what she wanted, that’s why she had him wrapped round her taloned fingers. She played the game. I gave myself freely, no catches, our love for love sake; emotional and physical. How can that win against a succubus, how can pure love defeat manipulation and evil…  
I stormed out of the library… My time here was almost at an end… I headed for the parking lot, trying not to remember this morning’s events.  
….  
I resignedly climbed into my car. A Honda Accord, my 17th birthday present from Edward. Edward had wanted to buy me a sports car, but I sensibly said there was no way I could explain it to my mother and she wouldn’t let me accept a gift; we had our pride. So we settled on the Accord, lied to my mother that the Cullen’s went guarantor on a loan and enjoyed it.  
Fuck, all the time I looked out for their safety, their public image… what the fuck for? I bet that slut Bella would go for the Ferrari and whore around town in it fucking anything she could get her leg over! And given how far spread her hips were that could involve livestock!  
I ran my fingers over the dash board caressing my baby, the only thing I loved more than my car was Edward… more sobs.  
I put it into gear and pulled out of the parking lot for the last time.  
As I drove through the streets of Forks, making my slow way up to the cliffs, I realized ‘I doubt if there had been a single corner of this small town which Edward and I hadn’t done something in over the last two years…’  
A song came on the radio; strange how things just seem to fall into place even at the end… too bad all life wasn’t like this.  
As I slowly passed through the small town, not wanting to hurry my last drive. Taking time to remember all the crazy things Edward and I had done, I heard Green day’s soft melancholic Ballard ‘Time of your life’ ringing out. It seemed so… appropriate. To end it all with this.  
Remember all the happy times I could never come back to.  
Not now. Not now he has found another.  
I realize tears are streaming down my face.  
Heaven help what I must look like. But then no one bothers to look at other drivers. Everyone is too busy wrapped up in their own lives. Never stopping to hear the silent screams.  
Even my love… with all his telepathic powers, is oblivious. Caught up in his new crush. Tossing me aside like an old piece of gum. He’s sucked all the flavor out of it and now it’s just an undesirable piece of formless rubber best disposed of.  
Driving out of the School drive I saw the First Congregational Church opposite… I remembered that first Christmas after I met the Cullen’s. How Edward and I had argued about his soul and whether he was damned or not. I argued that even though I didn’t believe in a heaven or hell, I could not believe that there could be an all loving God who would damn him and his family for something beyond their control, when they had suffered so much to avoid doing what was natural to them.  
Edward hadn’t believed me, so I berated him into coming to church Christmas Eve to ask the Minister. Edward’s hand’s shook with fear as we entered the church. I let him know there was no way, no how, God was striking him down… he’d have to come through me first. That seemed to calm him.  
After the service we asked the Minister if there is any sin, even murder, so great that God will not forgive. The Minister simply said no; God loves everyone, Jesus died for us to have that chance, and all you need is repentance. Edward was so blown away by this.  
I urged the same point later that night in front of the collected Cullen’s, that they could never be damned… they were too good. The next day the whole Cullen family came to church for the first time in their immortal lives. I remember how happy this made the Minister. A whole new family of young people joining his flock… it had made Christmas.  
I saw said Minister fixing the grounds of said church; he saw me and waved his usual friendly wave… I hardly noticed, my eyes were burning with tears. Had they not been I would have noticed his worried look and him running inside to telephone the school. He was a good man. But I could never confess to him what my problems were… I knew that a loving God would not damn me for loving another man, but I didn’t want to place that kind Minister in the position of advising me on that subject…  
Later I drove past Newton’s sporting good’s store. Mikes Dad was out front setting up a display. He was a good guy. He gave me work during school breaks because he knew I needed the money. A lot of people in town were down on him, because he and his wife weren’t ‘locals’ and they did tend to big note themselves. But that was just their way. I knew from working there that their margins were cut pretty fine.  
I also knew they were one of the only places in Forks that local kids with no work experience could be given a chance. And that during the floods last year they donated a lot of tarps and tents and stuff to the reservation, didn’t even want a mention.  
Mr Newton or Mike Senior as he always asked me to call him had taken me with zero experience and when I showed potential, gave me every opportunity. He had suggested that if I didn’t want to go to college he could put me on full time. Knowing his son Mike had little aptitude for the business. It was an awkward conversation, here he was putting me ahead of his own son, but I didn’t want to end up running a sports good store in Forks… I had higher ambitions then that… or at least I did before my life fell to pieces.  
I saw him in the window, and envisioned in 30 years that’s what pore Mike Junior would be doing. No, not for me.  
Mr Newton saw me and waved, I never saw it, nor did I see him pull the phone out of his pocket and call his son to see why I, the most reliable of students was cutting school and driving through town in tears.  
I was too busy remembering the first day of fall break nearly two years ago, when Edward and I went there to buy stuff for our first camping trip. We had only known each other for a couple of months. Carlisle thought it would be good for us to bond in the wilderness. Mum wasn’t happy with it but relented when I begged… even though I was scared shitless of bears a week alone with Edward was too good to miss, even though I thought he was straight back then.  
I remember that camping trip well. It had rained on and off constantly, but it was one of the best times of my life. Mainly spending so much time with Edward. But also because of a few unforeseen incidents - one of which ironically involved a fairly hungry and pissed off grizzly bear - I discovered that Edward and his family were immortals… He saved my life, but I was willing to lose it to save him… I wonder if he would bother now.  
On my way out of town I then drove past the Carver café, remembering the burgers and pizzas. The knowing looks that the waitress Cora gave us when we sat together, also her complete lack of judgement and ability to keep a confidence, yes I’d miss Cora and her amazing Java! Had I been paying attention I would have seen her getting out of her car and wave… I would have also seen the concerned look on her face when she noticed the state I was in and that she hurried inside to call her friend Chief Swan.  
But I didn’t, my mind was in the past, I was remembering the ridiculous lengths Edward went to, to appear to eat food. I always helped him out, my plate always miraculously gained food during a meal faster than the human eye could follow. Thank God for Emm’s exercise regime or I’d be the size of a house by now.  
I bet bovine Bella won’t eat Edward’s food, couldn’t have her risk putting on weight and getting massive udders. No Edward will just have to fend for himself now. This gave me a frison of pleasure which was immediately overwhelmed by regret... I still loved Edward, in spite of what he said and did… I didn’t want him to suffer.  
I guess that was the real reason I was getting out of the way. He didn’t need me hanging around like a bad smell. If he wanted to spend his life with Bella then I wouldn’t get in the way.  
And I hoped she made him happy. I really did…  
I also hoped she died of amoebic dysentery, but that was another matter.  
I drove past Tillicum Park and remembered summer vacation of 2004 dragging Edward and the Cullen’s to a Kerry/Edwards rally I had helped organize as part of the Young Democrats. God they grumbled; but Carlisle had supported me, saying it would help them fit in if they participated in the town life.  
Carlisle was so supportive of me, always there with advice. I think he was proud how successful I had become in politics at such a young age. He always made me feel like another son, and he was the father I never really had… I almost thought about driving to the hospital to talk to him… ask his advice.  
But no, I knew what I needed to do. Carlisle would have his own problems with the killer bitch joining their family.  
I remembered with a smile that the Cullen’s came to regret their show of support. I soon had the most active door knocking and leaflet dropping organisation in Washington State. I was a legend in the Young Democrats… the fact that my ‘volunteers’ had super powers was not my secret to divulge... another smile crept across my face.  
I had already plotted my bid for the City Council… how could I fail with such a team? With Alice able to predict my opponent’s actions and Edward their thoughts. A distinct advantage. I’d soon be the youngest Mayor the City ever had, then State Congress, US Senate? Who knows…? I froze in my thoughts… not anymore. I would be just me, a kid, not even a local; I wasn’t born here, what chance would I have…? Still I wasn’t going to be around to care for much longer.  
I smirked again when I remembered the nick name we gave the park… ‘Till-I-Cum’ park. My god the sexual adventures Edward and I had in the rotunda, the steam engine, the parking lot… just about everywhere.  
Good luck Edward trying to get Bella to do it on a rug in the freezing cold… especially given the temperature of your cock in winter. I remember I nearly got frost bite on my prostate and colon. Though by god the sounds that came from Edward made it worth it… I’d do it over again in a second to please him… Not happening!  
I took the turn out of town and up along the coast road to La Push. When the song ended I killed the radio. I didn’t want some perky song about love ruining what was a perfect send-off.  
I thought I should have left a note. But what the fuck. No one would give a shit enough to read it. Anyway, this way it could be put down as an accident, Mum wouldn’t have the shame of a suicide inquest. No one would think less of Edward… still thinking of others till the end… God I’m pathetic.  
EPOV  
I sat there gazing at Bella over lunch. Transfixed. She wasn’t particularly beautiful. More pretty, but her scent was beguiling and her ability to hide her thoughts was intriguing and enticing. How I thought I would like to spend the rest of my life unlocking her secrets.  
I rolled this idea around in my head when Alice took a sharp intake of breath. Jasper's hand was immediately on hers comforting her. The vision she saw blazed though my head cutting my reverie off. Riley, on top of the cliffs at La Push, throwing himself into the waters… ending it all because of my hurtful and careless remarks that morning during ‘the scene’ as it was coming to be called.  
“Alice?” I asked in a voice so low that only a vampire could hear.  
“Go to him… you may be too late!” she said urgently, not moderating her voice, not giving a damn who herd. I saw the desperation in her face and immediately took off, my chair colliding with the far wall and shattering. There was a pregnant hush in the cafeteria where there used to be buzzing noise. Every eye followed me as I retreated from the room at barely human speed, rapidly followed by Emmett.  
“Dude, you may need help.” He said as he came along side me as we quickened our pace in the deserted hallway, appearing to any bystander like a blur as we raced to the car park.  
I knew this wasn’t about physicality. I was more than capable of retrieving one human from the sea, or hopefully stopping them from entering it. Was he worried about the wolves? No, Riley was close with them; he’d saved Jacob’s life. No, they would not stop us from saving him… I think Emmett realized what was going on… that we might be too late… that I might need someone to sit with me as we waited for Chief Swan and Carlisle to arrive to remove the body… I pushed such thoughts from my mind. I HAD to be in time!  
I jumped in Emm’s jeep which was closer and easier to get in; the keys were out of his pocket in my hand and in the ignition before our ass’ hit the leather. Music blared out from the trashy radio station that Emm always had it tuned to. I ignored it, concentrating on maximizing the speed of the machine around corners.  
We probably took a full inch of rubber off the tires as we peeled out of the car park. Emm said nothing. Normally he’d scream blue murder about someone treating his baby that way.  
We drove like death was on our heels, skipping every light we came across to the honks of motorists. One unfortunately being Chief Swan himself – who cares, he’ll need to be there eventually anyway. STOP IT! I cussed at myself as I dismissed more macabre thoughts from my mind.  
I needed to stop my mind from whirring around. Conversation, any would do….  
“Why would he do it?” I spat out. I immediately regreted asking it.  
“Because you talked to him like a bit of shit in front of everyone in school.” Emmett said bluntly. I really shouldn’t have asked that question. I read what he left out in his mind… ‘Just because you’re so pussy whipped, you dumped your boyfriend and best friend in front of everyone. Practically outed him… If you weren’t a vampire he’d probably have punched you square in the face, because I was about to.’  
I looked at Emm and he glowered at me. I knew he and all my family were annoyed at my new infatuation with Bella. They couldn’t understand it. But the anger that suddenly seethed out of him startled me. Had he really felt like this before? Surely not, for how could I have missed it?  
As if to answer my question. As though he were the telepathic one. As though it were written all over my face, Emmett ejected… “Because since you found Bella you haven’t given a flying fuck about the rest of us. I’ve been testing you. Some of the shit I have thought you’ve not even noticed, unless it has the word ‘Bella’ in it.”  
Oh My God, was it that obvious? Was that why Riley had been getting more and more distant? Or was it actually he that was the same as usual and I was moving away?  
Madonna’s “like a prayer” was playing on the radio, it somehow seemed appropriate.  
Life is a mystery,  
Everyone must stand alone  
I hear you call my name  
And it feels like home

When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there  
We came to the cliffs and skidded to a halt. Jumping out of the jeep we ran to the roadside overlooking the ocean.  
“There he is” Emm retorted.  
Riley stood atop the cliff the wolves’ show-off and jump from. A fun trick for the supernatural but deadly for mortals.  
“Riley!!! NOOOOO!!!!” I yelled out.  
He looked up from the waves below and fixed me in the eye with a longing stare. Like he always used to. A small melancholic smile broke across his face  
I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing

“I LOVE YOU EDWARD…”he cried out, waited a millisecond for me to register his words, a few more for him to register their impression on my face… then he plunged off the cliff careering down in a swan dive to the rocks and breakers below. His mind endlessly repeating the phrase…  
“I LOVE YOU EDWARD…”  
“I LOVE YOU EDWARD…”  
“I LOVE YOU EDWARD…”  
I have no choice, I hear your voice  
Feels like flying  
I close my eyes, Oh God I think I'm falling  
Out of the sky, I close my eyes  
Heaven help me

“NOOOO!” I heard an unearthly voice bellow, I realized it was mine.  
I hadn’t even notice Chief Swan pull up and get out of his patrol car, he saw the whole thing… “Holy Shit!” He exclaimed, and ran to his car radio to call for the coast guard.  
And in an instant both Emm and I jumped off the coast road down into the water. Only our super acute hearing heard Chief Swan scream “No Boys…” as we left the precipice.  
I swam like I never had before. In my mind his constant repetition of ‘I love you Edward’ started to grow dimmer, then stopped…. NOOOO no I could not be too late. It just wasn’t possible.  
I finally reached the bottom of the cliff; there was no sign of him! I dived down, and there slowly floating to the bottom was the limp body of the boy I loved… I had no time to analyse these newly resurfaced feelings. I scooped him up and dragged him to the surface… he wasn’t breathing. I took a millisecond to place my lips on his, it was automatic I just wanted so much to let him know how I felt. I swam like a crazy person to the shore where I effortlessly carried his limp body up the beach. Emm was in lockstep beside me.  
I immediately set to work giving CPR at inhuman speed. I prayed to God, that even though I was now damned, he spare this poor victim of my stupidity.  
“Ed…”Emm said shaking his head as I frantically worked on my patient using every skill I had learned in three medical degrees.  
“No!” I spat out in between resuscitating breaths…”It can’t end like this…. It can’t”  
“Edward… he’s gone.” Emm said quietly. His hand on my shoulder to try and still my frantic actions.  
“No…” I said “GOD!!!” I yelled out at an inhuman volume that reverberated around the cove, hoping, praying, that God listened… then giving Riley one last compression and suddenly water spewed from his lungs and a cough spat out… I let out an exasperated prayer, glanced at Emmett in triumph then wrapped Riley in my arms and covered his face in kisses, a smile broke over his lips and I chastely placed mine on his, I felt his hand tighten on my side where it had been hanging, he didn’t have enough strength to raise his arms but it was all I needed.  
We heard a crash though some bushes and Chief Swan practically landed on the beach.  
“What in hell's name are you boys playing at.” He exploded as he picked himself up off the sand and gravel.  
Ignoring the commotion I deepened the kiss.  
“Holy crap!” Chief Swan ejaculated but I paid it no mind.  
Finally after what seemed like eternity, but must have been but a short while, I broke the kiss to gaze at my loves tired bloodshot eyes and see the smile dance there again. I rolled him to his side so he could breathe easier and rubbed his back letting him know through touch that this time I wasn’t going anywhere.  
….  
There was going to be a lot of explaining to do. But at the moment I didn’t care. I had won…  
I silently kicked myself that it took his near death to make me realize how much I needed him.  
And I have no idea how I am going to explain to the Chief what happened here, or how I am going to let Bella know that there was another who already had my heart.  
But I didn’t care… he was alive! And if he’d still have me, I would never leave his side…

~ The End ~

"Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by Green Day  
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time  
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial  
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,  
I hope you had the time of your life.

"Like A Prayer" by Madonna  
Life is a mystery  
Everyone must stand alone  
I hear you call my name  
And it feels like home

When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

I hear your voice  
It's like an angel sighing  
I have no choice, I hear your voice  
Feels like flying

I close my eyes  
Oh God I think I'm falling  
Out of the sky, I close my eyes  
Heaven help me

When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

Like a child  
You whisper softly to me  
You're in control just like a child  
Now I'm dancing

It's like a dream  
No end and no beginning  
You're here with me it's like a dream  
Let the choir sing

When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

Life is a mystery  
Everyone must stand alone  
I hear you call my name  
And it feels like home

Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there  
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery  
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem  
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there

Just like a prayer, I'll take you there  
It's like a dream to me  
Just like a prayer, I'll take you there  
It's like a dream to me

Just like a prayer, I'll take you there  
It's like a dream to me  
Just like a prayer, I'll take you there  
It's like a dream to me

Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there  
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery  
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem  
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there

Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there  
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery  
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem  
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there  
Your voice can take me there  
Like a prayer

Just like a prayer  
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there  
Just like a prayer  
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there


	2. I've Seen Better Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley survived the suicide attempt, but while he is in hospital Edward need's to come to terms with everything that he has done and the reactions of everyone around him. 
> 
> Will Riley and Edward be able to patch it up? Find love through all this mess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the next chapter of “I hope you had the time of your lives.”  
> I had hit a wall half way through writing this, it just wasn’t coming together like I wanted it to, then my musical muse stepped in again; when driving home from work through the vineyards I heard the great Australian artist Pete Murray’s “Better Day’s” and suddenly Edwards point of view became clear, I encourage you all to listen to it before you read this, it says so much about what the boys are going through, but in particular Edward. Here’s a link… 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZB-WAG9lSY 
> 
>  
> 
> I have included the words below.
> 
> I should also mention the character of Rev. Ryan is based on the Monsignor in ‘Guess who’s coming to dinner’ played expertly by Cecil Kellaway and a minister I knew about 10 years ago (minus the Irish accent)
> 
> Of course all characters belong to SM, I’ve just had fun playing with them.
> 
> See end for more notes -
> 
>  
> 
> Better Days by Pete Murray...
> 
> And I saw it coming  
> I saw emptiness and tragedy  
> And I felt like running so far away  
> Then knew I had to stay  
> And I know when I'm older  
> I look back and I still feel the pain  
> I know, I'll be stronger and I know, I'll be fine  
> For the rest of my days  
> I've seen better days  
> Put my face in my hands  
> Get down on my knees and I pray to God  
> Hope he sees me through till the end  
> I noticed most things  
> But I didn't notice the change  
> It was hot in the morning  
> Then it turned so cold, 't was the end of the day  
> There was no condensation  
> I just felt like I was in space  
> I needed my friends there I just turned around  
> They were gone without a trace  
> Seen better days  
> Put my face in my hands  
> Get down on my knees and I pray to God  
> Hope he sees me through till the end  
> Now I have just started  
> And I won't be done till the end  
> There's nothing I have lost  
> There was once placed upon my hands  
> And all of these hard times  
> Have faded 'round the bend  
> Now that I'm wiser, I cannot wait  
> Till I can help my friends  
> I've seen better days  
> Put my face in my hands  
> Get down on my knees and I pray to God  
> Hope he sees me through till the end  
> Seen better days  
> Put my face in my hands  
> Get down on my knees and I pray to God  
> Hope he sees me through till the end  
> Seen better  
> Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
> Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
> Na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
> Na, na, na, na, na, na, na

EPOV

Shortly Alice, Jasper and Rose were on the seen followed by Carlisle and an ambulance.

“Good work son.” He said to me. I looked at him dejectedly. “You saved him.”

“It’s because of my stupidity he did this…” I said fearing Carlisle recriminations. A sharp wave of shock registered through him, a brief hint of disappointment, and then a wave of compassion. I should have known my father better. He put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. Though there was still an underlying… frustration? No stronger than that… Carlisle could forgive easily, but we would be talking about today as a family, and as father and son before long. I dreaded it.

Noting my growing despondency he added “He’s alive Edward, thanks to you. And where there is life there’s hope.”

Chief Swan took this inopportune time to come over to us. He gestured for Emmett to join us. He kept his voice low, and he was thinking he hated what he was about to say, but it was his duty.

“Boy’s I’m going to have to take statements from you about what happened here later, so don’t skip town.” He thought he didn’t need to add the last bit, he knew we were no trouble, but he always said it ‘to cover his ass’.

“We’ll be ready.” Emmett said, I just nodded. Carlisle looked pained. He was thinking of how he could talk to Chief Swan and get him to keep a lid on this. Not only for the sake of our secret, but because of the shame a formal suicide investigation would bring on Riley and his mother.

Riley’s unconscious body was loaded into the back of an ambulance. Emm escorted me over to his jeep which this time he drove. My siblings climbed back into Rose’s red Mercedes convertible. Carlisle into his Black Mercedes saloon. And we followed the ambulance in a slow sorry procession.

Bella’sPOV

“Go to him… you may be too late!” Alice screamed.

I was startled out of my salad, I couldn’t believe it, one minute Edward was sitting next to me watching me talk and the next minuet he was gone, his chair was in pieces and Emm was rapidly following him. I looked at Alice to see what she yelled for, she looked like she was having a conniption fit or something. Jasper was immediately comforting her.

“Alice what is it?” I asked concerned.

“She’s having a vision,” Jasper mutter so quietly only those at our table could hear. I had never seen Alice have a vision before… it was quite… creepy.

“What did you see?” I asked startled about what could cause Edward and Emmett to disappear with no notice.

“It’s a family matter.” Rose hissed looking at me pointedly. Bitch!

People were beginning to stare. “I’ll get Alice to the school clinic, her headache is getting a lot worse.” Said Jasper loud enough for the gawkers to hear. He led Alice out of the cafeteria and I sat in silence with Rose for a few seconds before she haughtily got up and marched off, not even announcing where she was going.

I got up and went outside where I couldn’t be overheard, pulled my phone out of my bag and called Edward. It went to message. “Edward, what is it? When you get this, call me, I’m worried.” I said then hang up. Returned the phone to my bag and headed off to class.

….

I was bored senseless in English, the teacher droned on and on and I had nothing to occupy my thoughts other than what had happened today. I tried to make sense of the Alice question but without any members of the Cullen family present I was at a loss. They had all disappeared now. This got me even more worried… So my mind began to wander back to this morning to “The scene” as it was beginning to be called around school.

Riley said “But what about us?” but it was in a strange way… not like ‘our friendship’, more possessive? Strange.

Then Edward replied “What about it… it’s over.” Friendship? sounded too definite for that, Edward used precise English most of the time, it was how and when he was brought up, he would have said ‘our friendship is over’ surely.

Then he said “Bella is part of my life now.” Fair enough. “She is giving me what you never could.” This was just after Riley had accused us of having sex.  Wait a minute! Why the hell did he care whether we had sex or not… a friend may be jealous that his best friend was hanging out with his girlfriend more than him, but he should be happy that Edward was ‘getting his leg over’ as the boys charmingly call it.  Surely, that’s what guy’s do don’t they?  Brag about their sex lives… not get jealous about it…

Holy Fuck! No no, Edwards straight… he’s into me… he grew up when homosexuality didn’t exist…. Well sure it did, but it was underground, illegal. Edward… no way. No how… Fuck!

“Miss Swan… are you paying attention!” Mr Mason said in a loud voice that knocked all further thoughts out of my head... but I was determined to get to the bottom of this.

….

After school, when Edward hadn’t returned my call I rang him again and left another message. God I was starting to sound pathetically whiny, but I couldn’t help it. I then called Emmett, I had stolen his number along with the rest of Edward’s families out of his phone when he gave it to me to program my number in. It was what girlfriends were supposed to do weren’t they? Lauren always did. Her list of ex’s contacts was huge!

Emmett wasn’t answering either. I called the rest of the Cullen’s, the same response. What the hell was going on?

I then heard Lauren talking loudly behind me.

“And he like apparently went cliff diving! I mean can you believe it, Riley? I mean dorky Riley the nerd!  Cutting class to go Cliff diving with the Indians? I said like please don’t take me for an idiot.” I didn’t hear the rest, she was out of ear shot. It WAS completely out of character from the small amount I had seen of Riley. I dialled Jacob’s number.

“Hey Bella.” His usual friendly voice answered the phone.

“Jake what’s happening down at La Push?”

“What?  Nothing as far as I know, what have you heard?”

“Lauren just said that Riley cut school and was cliff diving with you guys.”

“She must be menstrual or something,” I rolled my eyes, Jacob was nothing if not unsubtle, “because we weren’t there… wait. I’ll ask dad.” The phone must have been placed next to Jacob’s chest for I could hear his mighty heart softly thumbing. It was a strangely compelling sound. “Dad, doesn’t know; he’s calling Harry, he went fishing down there this afternoon. Thought he’d try out his and Harry’s ‘newfangled’ mobiles.” Said Jacob teasing his father on his latest technological breakthrough, there was a loud thud and an ‘owww’ as Jake no doubt got a clip around the ears.

There was the sound of Billy on the phone, Jacobs breathing picked up, his heart rate became faster and louder. “Fuck, NO!” He yelled away from the phone and the line went dead.

I looked at my phone confused, then dialled again. It too went to message bank. What the hell is going on?

I was going to call Billy but thought against it.

I would just drive home and wait… Fuck, my truck wasn’t in the lot, I remembered I got a lift to school with Edward, back when the day was great.

Edward’s Volvo was still there, but Emmett’s Jeep and Rose’s Merc were gone. I didn’t have the keys to Edward’s car… Fuck!

I called Dad. I would have to try and explain to him why I didn’t drive to school and why my lift ditched me. I’d probably have to walk to the station and wait for ever before he was ready to take me home. What a great day this was turning out to be.

Charlie’s phone went to message as well. Arghhhh!

“Dad, can you call me back when you get this, I’m kind of stranded at school. Long story.” I hung up and flopped down on the school steps.

At least it wasn’t raining. A splat of water hit my face. Me and my big mouth.

….

EPOV

I sat there in the room in silence, my head in my hands, I only wish I could cry, I think it might release some of the pent up emotions I have. 

Carlisle checks over Riley’s limp body and Mrs Biers looks daggers at me, which was positively peaceful compared with her thoughts.

Mrs Biers was a formidable woman. The best way to describe her was like a 5 foot nothing Katherine Hepburn, bun and all. Skinny as a rail, but smartly dressed. No makeup. She meant business. I had gone from being her favourite to being her most hated student in the course of the last two years as my relationship with her son developed.

She of course didn’t know the details. She carefully blocked any such thoughts from her Christian fundamentalist mind. But she had guessed we were ‘unhealthily close’.  More than friends… she was determined to put an end to it, and this was all she needed to do it.

“How is he?” I asked Carlisle to receive a rebuking look from my fellow visitor.

Fuck her, I could have just read Carlisle’s mind and left her to stew, I thought I was helping.

“It’s hard to tell while he is unconscious. His physical ailments are remarkably few. A contusion on the back of his head being the most serious, but fortunately there are no blood clots. His lungs are severely irritated by the sea water; he will need oxygen for the next day till the inflammation calms down. We’ve given him de-contestants and are regularly draining the remaining fluid in his lungs.” Carlisle filled us in with his best doctor’s candour.  “My main concern at the moment, and we won’t know for certain until he regains consciousness, is hypoxia.”

My brows knitted.

“What is that?” Mrs Biers said concerned.

“In short it’s when the brain doesn’t receive enough oxygen, its cells start to die. In short brain damage.” Carlisle explained.

“Oh God no, anything but that…” Mrs Biers said with her perfect vowels, you would never think she was Australian, more English…

For once I totally agreed with her. Riley was not athletic, he didn’t like competitive sports at all, his stimulation came from his mind. His brain was always working on something. I should know, it never ceased.  If it wasn’t practical then it was fiction, his vivid visions of a better world, of his future or his historical re-enactments with Jaz.

I know in a second Riley would prefer to spend the rest of his life in a wheel chair then be deprived of his best asset. His entire future revolved around him using his smarts to escape the poverty he was born into. To make a difference for the community, for the world in his grander moments. It would crush him if that were to go. I think he would rather die.

“He was pulled from the water by Edward not breathing… we aren’t exactly sure how long that was for.” That was my fault, Emm and I were too preoccupied to count how long it all took so it was our best guess from when his mind stopped till when he came too…  “Probably no more than a minute, which is good, but with that and the knock to his head… the brain is such a sensitive organism, we can’t tell till he’s awake and we can run tests… in short we just need to talk to him to see if any damage was done.” I could tell Mrs Biers wasn’t listening anymore. Her whole world seemed to be spiralling down into a void of despair…

I knew that this wasn’t going to end well.

She knew she needed to focus on something or else go insane, she needed someone to blame… She blamed Riley for being so stupid, but she couldn’t yell at him yet… Her malice turned like a scimitar toward me. Her eyes trained on me like lasers. If her thoughts were deeds I’d be a pile of ashes on the floor right now.

“You are responsible for this…” She said menacingly. “You made him do this. You have been poisoning him all this time.”

Carlisle looked at me sympathetically and tried to intervene. “Mrs Biers, Edward saved your son’s life…” he paused, he thought to himself I was also the reason for him to risk it. The thought was like a slap across the face to me.  Carlisle soon continued on, to regain control of the situation. He wasn’t having a scene in his hospital. “If it were not for him pulling Riley out off the water he would have drowned.”

Mrs Biers was paying no attention to him.  She deeply wanted to scratch my eyes out, but her years of self-control kicked in and she simply said with all the bile she could muster. “Get out… My son will never see you again.  Not if I can help it.”

If Carlisle’s observations were a slap across the face this was a dagger straight to my heart.  She meant it.  Every word. She was already thinking of lawyers. Lawsuits. Moving to Seattle to get Riley away from me. Moving back to Australia.  She couldn’t put enough distance between us.  And Riley was a minor… he had no choice but to follow her.

There was a pain in my chest like I never had experienced. I guess this is what a heart attack must feel like. It was second only in agony to the change that burned through me 86 years ago.

I didn’t know what to do. I could think of nothing to say that would change her mind.

Carlisle stepped between Mrs Biers and myself looking me in the eye. He whispered to me. “She has every right as Riley’s guardian to expel you from this room. It might be best if you wait outside… I’ll let you know when he regains consciousness.” He said it with pity in his eyes. He knew what I was feeling.  But all I could think was that my father had sided with his mother to separate us. He was expelling me from taking care of the man I loved. I fled the room. If I were mortal, tears would have been streaming down my face. But as it was my eyes were dry. The only sign of my grief was my face contorted in despair.

I looked at the crowd in the waiting room. My assembled family.

My eyes passed from one to the other. Each looked harshly at me… I read each of their minds… one by one the blows came.

Emmett had been remembering the runs he and Riley used to go on to burn off the extra food I plied him with at the dinner, and Esme’s side splitting meals that Riley liked so much. 

Emm seemed like a dumb jock, but Riley wasn’t fooled.  Emmett had spent his decades in college with no discernible degree to show for it. But he had studied History, philosophy, theology, politics, poetry and much more, anything that had taken his fancy. Riley had an encyclopaedia for a mind and as they jogged they would talk for hours on end about the meaning of life, the universe, everything. They also had a similar sense of humour that bordered on the filthy at times.

Emmett glowered at me. If Riley was brain damaged that would all be gone.  Emmett’s one true friend in all the world gone from him and it was all my fault, because I was so ‘cunt struck’ to use one of Riley’s Australian idioms, to see the wood from the trees.

Rose remember that Riley was the first person who had not treated her like a stuck up madam. He had ignored all her jibes and general bitchiness; knowing it was a defence mechanism. He patiently waited and persevered. Rose knew he was the only person in the world that got who she really was. And I had taken that from her. Like I had taken her life, if it weren’t for me Carlisle wouldn’t have changed her.

Alice remembered the wild shopping expeditions that Riley and she went on. He had excellent taste that he had inherited from his mother and apparently his father.  He also was the most patient person I had ever met.  He would spend hours at malls with Alice as she tried on dresses and shoes and bags and hats… always with a helpful comment or a down right bitchy one if he was in a teasing mood.

But he also refused expensive presents, there was always a running battle between him and Alice when they came home about the expensive something he would have looked perfect in but he wouldn’t let her buy it for him.  I had never know someone harder to buy a present for.  It wasn’t just his pride, nor that he didn’t want to be kept by us.  He wanted to prove he could climb out of poverty without help… well without gifts.  (Of course birthdays and Christmas were exceptions so we went completely over the top.) 

Along these lines he had introduced her to second hand stores and she had fallen in love with them, always eager for a bargain. They would arrive home with the boot full of old crap that Alice would spend the rest of the week turning into treasures to sell on eBay. Or place around the house if she particularly liked them… Who would shop with her now? She didn’t hate me, she felt sorry for me in a way, but she didn’t know if she could ever forgive me, completely.

Jasper was heartbroken. He looked as miserable as I felt. Not only the history and military debates; finally, an equal to spar with. The dioramas they built and battles they re-fought.  Napoleon never lost Waterloo while Riley was around, the arch Francophile he was.

But then there was the secret Jasper kept hidden from everyone but the one person he couldn’t hide it from… Me.

He loved Riley as much as he loved Alice. Not in the same way. But deeply and truly. He had longed for it to go beyond the friendship they had… He could have just used his powers to seduce him. Being around Riley was torture at times, but his respect for Alice and Riley meant that he never pursued the idea.

All that could now be gone… if he was brain damaged would he be the same? Had his chance of a soulmate gone forever because of my stupidity.  Jasper didn’t hate me either...  He had made many bad decisions in his life and he knew he would be a hypocrite to judge me. But he was so very very disappointed in me.

Then there was Esme. My loving mother.  She had thought of Riley as another son. Their discussions about architecture had lasted for hours. Her hatred for Frank Lloyd Wright (whom she had briefly worked with at Taliesin and whom she thought was a dirty old man) sparked huge debates as Riley worshiped him. At the end of the day neither gave ground but both had to respect the others arguments.

If he was no longer who he was, would that be gone too?

She looked at me with such sorrow and disappointment.  Her heart went out to me for my suffering, but she also knew I had hurt her with my carelessness, hurt her family. A similar carelessness I had shown all those years ago when I rebelled against their way of life… she would eventually forgive me. She was an infinitely forgiving and loving person. But the look of disappointment in her eyes crushed my soul and shredded my heart.

I fled the room, I couldn’t stay there with this Kangaroo court that had already decided I was guilty… the worst thing was… I knew they were right.

I careered through the corridors of the hospital and out the doors… I just needed to get out of here.

A thought flashed through my mind… the Volturi… the only way to pay for my crime would be to end my life. Forfeit my soul and burn in hell forever.

If Riley was damaged because of me, unable to love me, I would go to Italy and beg to be realised from my binds… to pay for my crime.

As I crossed the parking lot I was paying no attention to what I was doing and I collided with a small elderly man, knocking him from his feet.

I instinctively bent down to help him up, checking if he was all right… I couldn’t handle being responsible for another accident.

I gazed at the man… He was small and round, in his seventies and wearing a dog collar. It was Rev Ryan, the minister from the Congregationalist church that Riley had taken me to two Christmases ago. Who after some strategic prodding from Riley had opened my eyes to seeing that maybe I wasn’t damned; at least before today.  

Our family had become close friends with this spry Irish minister whose quick wit had everyone rolling in the isle; but who used his touch of the blarney to convey serious messages about what we should be doing to each other on this planet and what God really was all about.

I apologised profusely, but as was typical of this wonderful man he dusted himself of, quipped a joke that I didn’t get and then posed a question to me. He was no fool. He knew I was devastated, he also knew very well the relationship I had with Riley; yet his sense of propriety never broached the subject. He knew one day when we were ready we would come and talk to him about it. And he would pronounce it blessed; in spite of what the church authorities said.

I remember one of his sermons “When the Lord told us to love one another, he never bothered to define that love… so how dare we.” This was 6 months ago when the people in Forks were campaigning for a constitutional amendment to make marriage ONLY between a man and a woman.  It made him no friends, but he gained a huge amount of respect for his courage.

I now knew why he was here.  He was Riley’s minister, he was to come to give spiritual sustenance to Mrs Biers and Riley if he awoke, or prey for him if he didn’t.

He knew… and he knew in part why I fled. My lover might be at deaths door and I had been expelled by his mother.  I wondered if he knew I was the cause of all this, would he be so caring? I made to walk off but he was having none of that.

“Slow down boyo and let an old man get a word in.” he said grabbing my arm with surprising strength for his age. I knew he still enjoyed boxing. He and Billy Black used to spar before the later was confined to a wheelchair. He taught boxing and Pugilism among other things down on the reservation. It was where he met Mrs Biers, who while recovering from cancer and unable to work volunteered to teach afterschool music down there, and Riley, who escorted her and in his typically generous way helped the kids with their homework, which lead to him tutoring them in History and English for next to nothing… that’s how he became friends with Jacob and the wolves.

After first meeting the Reverend, the Biers changed churches immediately and never had been happier.

“Now, I can guess why you’re in a flap, but is there anything I can do… talk some sense into a certain opinionated person maybe.” I smiled. It was all the confirmation he needed. “But there’s more isn’t there… you blame yourself don’t you… he wasn’t cliff jumping. Young Swatty Riley? Never! You had had an argument hadn’t you?”

I moved to open my mouth but he raised his hand to silence me.

“There’ll be plenty of time to talk about who’s to blame when he’s better. My god, the weight you must be carrying around with you… Atlas couldn’t have held it up… You need to get rid of it laddie or it’ll eat you up inside.” He poked my chest in a friendly way.

I shook my head… how could I.

“Do you remember what I said the first time we met, that Christmas eve two Christmases ago… you were interested in whether there was any crime that God would never forgive… Riley as I can remember did all the talking as usual, he’s a brave lad; you if I may recall were too frightened to ask.”

If I were human I would have blushed at the memory.

“And do you remember what I said? I said “God is love, Jesus died so we would have that. If you are repentant of your sins, and believe in the love of the Lord, then you could have killed a thousand people and God would forgive you.” He looked, tilted his head so he could look at my downcast eyes, being so short had its advantages for him.

“So then… how about we have a little prayer and you can be on your way and pass all that load on your shoulders up to one who has strength enough to carry it for you.”

I nodded. We walked over and sat down under the one tree in the lot. As he was about to start I interrupted.

“Reverend.” He scowled at me. “Mike.” It still felt uncomfortable to call a man of God by his Christian name but still, I had bigger problems to worry about. “Can you pray for Riley instead?”

He looked confused. Then he realised. “You still think you are too far gone, that God won’t even listen to you… worse; that you might even tempt his wrath into doing the opposite of what you asked…” he saw through me so well. “And I see you still want to drag that burden around for a bit longer… as punishment. You have that martyred look about you.” He saw through me all too well. “Well I tell you what. We’ll BOTH pray for Riley, and I’ll say a little prayer later, for you. You know, even though you’re going about it cart first your trying to live the word, putting others before yourself. You just like to do it in such a damned… theatrical way.” A quick smile flashed across his face.

We bowed our heads and he prayed for Riley. I silently prayed, begging God to punish me to spare Riley. I deserved it, he didn’t.

When we finished he rose and squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. “You have a surprisingly low body temperature Master Cullen…” All the air suddenly escaped my lungs.  “You see you hang around the Red fella’s enough and drink whisky with them till God knows when in the morning, you hear all sorts of strange things.”

A wave of panic flooded through me. He saw it.

“Don’t worry, as the wise man said ‘there are more things on heaven and earth then are dreamt of in your philosophy Horatio…’ I’ll make that a prayer for you a goodn’, just to make sure.” He winked at me and toddled off leaving me sitting there in a stupor.

“Oh and don’t be sitting there too long. I’m sure Riley will be wanting to speak with you when he’s up to it.” he called over his shoulder.

All I could do is get up and follow him into the hospital in a daze.

JacobPOV

I ran into the hospital from where Dad had dropped me off. I asked at every station were Riley Biers was and they directed me to the second floor waiting room. 

The smell of leeches greeted me before I even opened the door.

Trust them to be here. It was getting mixed up with them that caused this… I knew it in my gut. They were bad news. I had told Riley that. But he was too cock struck on that leech to think straight. Now look what had happened.

“You Leeches just can’t leave him alone.” I couldn’t help spitting out.

“Heal Goofy.” The leggy blond leach hissed.

Another leech cleared his throat loudly and I turned toward him, it was Edward. I paled, standing next to him was Rev. Ryan. God, we nearly let the cat out of the bag.

“Well, obviously you lot seem determined to have a donnybrook, so I’ll leave you to it and go and comfort Mrs Biers. I’d have about as much luck getting peace here as in Palestine.” Rev. Ryan said shaking his head with a smile and toddled off into the room where Riley lay.

“Can’t control yourself, like an incontinent puppy.” Said the big leech.

“Keep that up and you’ll be peeing through a catheter.” I shot back. He raised his hands in the air and did the ‘Ewww I’m scared’ imitation.

I looked back at Edward… I couldn’t be bother wasting time on the others, later maybe… I had a few choice things to say to the guy that had done this to Riley.

“You… I’m surprised yon have the nerve to show your face in here after what you did.” I shoot at him, closing the distance between us. I was expecting Edward to return serve, but he just squirmed uncomfortably… good he’s guilty. That will make this more fun.

“You just couldn’t keep your blood sucking hands of either of them… Riley then Bella. What is it with you? And then you crushed him.  Did you enjoy that? What have you got planed for Bella? Or is this some passive aggressive shit to get at me… because if it’s a war with the pack you want, you’ll get it, treaty or no…” I was now right in Edward’s face. He normally would have retaliated, but he just looked at me. He hated me with every fibre of his being, but there was no passion in it.  As if he was depleted, spent.

“Does Bella know what you got up to with Riley? Mmmm? Bet she wouldn’t be so happy to jump in the sack with you when she finds out where it’s been.” I said obviously looking down at his crotch.  That hit home, finally he looked like he wanted to rip me apart.

“Hey Mutt…” said the big leech “I wouldn’t go talking too loud about things like that… there are a few choice things that we know about you that your little poodle buddies might not take to well to.” I froze and then swung round to glare at him.

“What do you mean?” I fumed.

“You know exactly what I mean… talk about a hypocrite. You start spreading shit on us and we’ll bury you in it.”

He was serious… I couldn’t believe it… how did he? How could they? I must have expressed some of these incoherent sentences because the big leech responded.

“Riley told Edward and Edward told us…”

“He told you…” I pivoted back to Edward seething.

“We are partners, we tell each other everything…” Edward said suddenly smugly, he had found my Achilles heal and he was going to exploit it the son of a bitch…

The big leech joined in… “Yea and since we’re all family, he told us… especially when YOU were busy fucking up Edwards life… seems what goes around comes around.” He said with an evil grin.

I was about to launch myself at the big leech when a strong hand descended on my shoulder. I swung round ready to deck whoever it was when I saw it was Dr Cullen with Dad next to him. He griped my shoulder like a vice, but there was nothing threatening in it, just an unshakable force.

“This is a hospital full of sick people. If you want to start a bar brawl go find one… that goes for all of you.” Carlisle said scanning the room. The big leech deflated somewhat.

I went to protest but dad chimed in. “Jake, shut it… you’re here to see how your friend is doing not start World War 3.” I backed down.

“Jacob, I was just telling your father Riley’s prognosis. He’s seems ok, but we don’t know if he has suffered brain damage from lack of oxygen.  We will only really know when he wakes up and we can talk to him.  We’ll let you know when that happens” Said Dr Cullen in a professional manner as if the near brawl never happened. I nodded thanks.

“Good, that being said, I think we should get some fresh air, it’s getting stale in here.” Said Billy looking at the leeches and I fell in behind him.

As we were about to leave the room our path was blocked.

EPOV

Today was just getting worse. The Reverend knows our secret, then of all people Jacob Black turns up and starts acting like an ass hole.

I’m not up to fighting, I just can’t focus. He tries his hardest to rile me into striking, but unfortunately I agree with everything he says.  He’s right. It is all my fault.

Fortunately Emm comes to my rescue. I know it’s because he hates Jacob more than me; slightly more than me, but it’s enough. He calls him on what we know and have kept quiet about because we don’t deal in smut and also we don’t want innocent people getting hurt. Who would it advantage? Despite disliking the wolves we don’t really hate them… not with a passion… all the time.  Or if I’m honest; it was really Riley that stopped us…

Carlisle then comes and brings order, and Billy Black rains in his errant son. Carlisle informs them all we know and they leave with a characteristic lack of grace.

Just as I am about to take a deep breath of gratitude that that is over I hear Chief Swan’s voice talking to the nurse in the corridor… oh great, just what we need. An integration by him. Just great. Today couldn’t get any worse…

I had to open my big mouth!!!

Just as Billy and Jacob are leaving their exit is blocked by Charlie, he steps aside to let Billy through and there standing in front of Billy in the doorway is… Bella…

Fuck!

No, no.  No No no. NO! I can’t deal with her right now. I know I need to talk to her, but it’s just too soon, I need to think this through. I need to talk to Riley. I need… time.

“Edward!” she half yells relieved… “I’ve been calling and calling, what’s going on.”

I can’t believe that Charlie didn’t inform her of the basics… she knows Riley is my best friend, can’t she work it out, does she need a dammed map? I am in no mood for this. Then I see the looks all my family are giving her, from Alice’s cold indifference to Jasper’s blind hatred. She has no idea what she has just stepped into. I feel sorry for her, it wasn’t her fault. It was mine, now she is getting blamed along with me.

Carlisle takes Charlie out of the room, he’s going to talk to him and try and get him to drop any formal investigation.  He can question to get the story straight in his head, fine, but nothing in writing. Too many people will be hurt. I silently wish him luck, but then I see Bella and realise I need all the luck I can get myself.

She comes over to me. I can’t meet her eyes.

“Edward, what is it? What going on...” she says.

“I, cant, not now… it’s all too soon.” I say pathetically, still not meeting her gaze.

“Edward, we need to talk… what you said this morning. It doesn’t make sense. We really need to talk about it.”

“Ok, but not now.” I plead.

“Fine, I’ll talk to you later tonight.”

“No, I need to stay here in case Riley regains consciousness.”

“Then Tomorrow.” She says getting angry.

“Tomorrow afternoon, after school.” I try and negotiate…

She nods.  Realising she won’t get any more out of me she looks around obviously for Jacob, he’s gone. She turns to me. “After school” she says. And then heads off out the door to find Jacob.

I breathe a sigh of relief, but too soon.

“Why the fuck didn’t you just tell that slut to fuck off.” Growled Emmett glaring at me.

I don’t meet his gaze. I can’t tell him how complicated it is. How my feelings for Bella are still there, they have just been overwhelmed by my resurfaced feeling for Riley.

“You still like her don’t you.” Said Emm stalking over to me menacingly.

I avert my gaze.  Its confirmation enough for Emmett. There is only a micro second between the thought and the action; Emm is getting much better at surprising me. I could still have moved out of the way of his swinging fist, but I kind of thought I deserved it. His fist impacts on my check which fractures and I get launched across the room to collide with and completely crush a coffee table.

The cracks in my check rapidly disappear and I sit up in the pile of debris, expecting Emm to continue his attack, but Jasper has him in an arm lock.

“Enough.” Jasper says firmly, sending out a wave of calm to everyone in the room.

Emmett puts up his hands in surrender. He thinks he can wait till we get home to finish this.

Just then Carlisle and Charlie walk in.

“Alright Boy’s, that’s enough. I have a good mind to arrest the both of you.” Yells Charlie.

“Jasper, take Emmett out to get some fresh air.” Carlisle orders, Jasper nods and escorts Emmett out of the room. “Alice could you take Edward to the nurses station and make sure he’s alright.” She unnecessarily helps me up. And we walk out of the room.

“I’m sure you could have avoided that.” She whispers to me. “Guess you thought you deserved it.” I let out a sob. She rubs my arm. “Poor Edward, this isn’t going to be easy for you.”

RPOV

Thursday 10pm

I lay there. My head is pounding, I have only had a hangover a couple of times in my life and this by far was the worst! My eyes seem stuck together and try as I might I couldn’t find the strength to open them... this is bad.  I can’t even remember going to a party. That was a bad sign. 

Then it slowly came back. What Edward had said. The drive. The cliff. The water… was I dead? Was this what death was? Darkness and pain. Maybe I was in hell? Too bad Rev Ryan wasn’t here to talk to about it.  Not what I pictured. But then I didn’t believe in hell. Ironical really.

I wondered if this was hell should I open my eyes or would it be better to keep them closed for as long as possible... Screw that, I’d face it like I faced every challenge in life. I summoned up the strength and finally managed to crack my eyes open. I was blinded by a bright white light.

That’s strange, hell bright and light... might be heaven? This is getting weird.

A figure swam into my view. It was very pale and dressed all in white. It had bright blond hair which in the light seemed almost luminescent. An Angel? Certainly looked like one.

Was this judgment day? Did I have to stand answerable for my sins, or had that already been taken care of automatically and I was in heaven proper? Fascinating. I was about to ask what was going on when the angel spoke… The voice sounded familiar. It sounded like… Carlisle?

I strained my eyes as hard as I could and the figure came into slightly better focus, though it was hard to concentrate on it for some reason, my vision kept swimming all over the place. I could just make out I was in a room and there was another person here. I tried to focus on the figure. It had a finger in my face which was a little rude, I slowly made out… yes it was… Carlisle. I was in a room with Carlisle… I’m not dead… I’m in hospital.

I tried to make out what Carlisle was saying, I heard ‘concussed’. That’s about it.

Then I heard another familiar voice… from the other figure… it was… Mum!

I’m in a room, in hospital with Carlisle and Mum and I’m... so screwed.

Everything went black again.

….

Friday 9pm

God my head was still pounding.  It took me a while to remember why. Guess this is what I deserve, can’t even kill myself. What a fuck up. Should have taken tablets or something. Damn… Then I remember… the kiss!

No, it must have been a dream, there is no way that Edward Cullen after what he had said and done kissed me on a beach, no way, no how. Not in this life.

I must have been stirring because I could hear Carlisle talking to my mother. Fuck I just want to sleep and wake up when it’s a new millennium… only problem is Edward would still be there, hating me. This is all so fucked.

They kept prattling on and I realised all I could do was man up and face the music. I can always try again right? This time think a bit more about execution… oh there’s a pun for you.  Here I am completely fucked and I can still crack ‘em.

So I crack my eyes open. It’s still too bright in here, but not as bad as before. Carlisle notices my movements and comes over. I can focus on him better now.

“Well, how’s our patient.” He says kindly.

“I” fuck, was that my voice? It sounded like an oven being dragged down a gravel road by a truck with flat tires. God my throat was dry and sore.  And now my lungs felt like they were on fire. “I’m fine.” I lied, anything to get everyone off my back.

“That’s good.” Said Carlisle.

“Ooh Riley, I was so worried.” Mum wails and grabs my hand. This brings tears to my eyes that sting like mad… I really didn’t want to hurt her. Fuck. I can’t get anything right.

“Now I’m going to ask you some questions and do some tests to see how you are.” Said Carlisle calmly. “What’s your name?” 

“Riley Anthony Biers.”

“When were you born?”

“26th January 1988, Australia’s bicentenary.” Carlisle smiled with his eyes and they glittered gold.

“Who is the President?” As Carlisle does this he moves his finger around my vision and back and forwards no doubt looking at my eye movements.

I look at Mum and she glowers at me… like I would use profanity at a time like this… ok when it comes to President Doofus…

“George W. Bush.” I say, the name leaving a bad taste in my mouth. “And thank God we only have 3 years, 10 months and… I can’t remember how many days left of him.” I start to panic… I can’t remember how many days… but then I don’t know what day it is. It was Thursday the 10th when I jumped… Carlisle saw my concern. “I can’t remember how many days…. What day is it again? How long have I been… like this?”

“It’s Friday night… do you remember the date?”

“That would make it the 11th, which means its 3 years, 10 months and 9 days to put up with that Fu…” my voice dies away as Mum glowers. “Till we have a new President… baring impeachment.” I tried to smile at the thought but it didn’t really work. Carlisle returned my smile.

“Well Mrs Biers, it seems there is no mental damage…. Riley is firing on all cylinders.”

“Oh thank God.” Mum cries again.

“I’d like to keep him in for another day on so for observations just to make sure. You should have him back by end of weekend.”

“Thank goodness.”

Yea great, I can imagine I’ll be Sunday roast, I have no idea what spin I can put on this to get out of what are going to be massive ramifications.

Mum turns to me. “You had me so worried… how could you do such a thing, how could you be so stupid…” her voice was rising. Oh fuck, can’t I have just one day of peace.

“I’m sorry.” I choke out before the sobs start to overwhelm me. Tears begin to stream down my face… God I’m such a fuck up.

Carlisle notes my distress “Mrs Biers, there will be plenty of time to discuss actions and motivations in the weeks to come. Right now Riley needs plenty of rest to recover. He still is concussed and his lungs are inflamed.” Carlisle come to my rescue like a knight on a white steed. “Now, can I suggest you have been up two days straight, why not go home and have a rest?  Riley will most likely be sleeping most of tonight.  He’ll be more up to talking tomorrow.” Said Carlisle.

Mum glowered at him but he showed an impenetrable wall of authority.

“The next few weeks he’s going to need some care and you won’t be able to help him if you are exhausted.” Carlisle gently places his hand on her arm as if to say she is leaving.

“Ok, get some sleep darling and I’ll be back tomorrow.” She pushes past Carlisle and kisses my forehead. “Love you.” Then leaves before he can escort her. I thank Carlisle with my eyes.

When she has gone Carlisle turns back to me and smiles. “You had us worried there.” He says gently.

“I’m so sorry.” I choke out and the sobs start up again.

He places a calming hand on my arm. “I didn’t mean that… we can talk about that later when you are feeling better.  We were just concerned for your health.” I try to smile.

He continued. “Edward has been outside waiting for you…” my heart missed a beat… “He would have been in here but your mother threw him out.”

“He…” I didn’t know what to say… ‘He cares?” is all I can think of.

“He’s the one that pulled you out. Gave you CPR. He saved your life.”

After ripping it up in the first place, I think bitterly… what does he want a gold award now? What does he want anyway? Then I remember the… KISS!

“Carlisle… I don’t know how to put this… I can’t remember the beach that well. Ummm. Was… Did Edward save me because he felt…” say it Riley “Guilty.” There was a pain in my chest. “Or…. Does he still have… feelings for me?”

“I wasn’t there when you were conscious, but all I know is that he hasn’t left your side until your mother ordered him out, and… well Chief Swan told me in confidence, because he thought a father should know what his son was up to… He kissed you on the beach, and it wasn’t the kiss of life.”

My heart missed another beat, then fluttered and then decided to make up for the missed beats by pounding out of my chest… all I could think of, all I had running through my head was that ‘he kissed me, he kissed me… Edward kissed me…”

Carlisle smiled at my obvious mental struggle. “I’ll leave you to process it.” He said turning to leave.

“Carlisle…” I said urgently. He stopped and turned. “Can I see him?”

“Your Mother forbade it… in fact she has said firmly you will never see Edward again.” My heart stopped. The pain in my head and chest and throat were gone. My heart had just stopped and it hurt like a mother fucker. I couldn’t breathe properly… I had a terrible feeling of falling and there was a sinking and churning feeling in my stomach… No this couldn’t happen. I couldn’t get him back only to have it all ruined… tears began running down my face again.

“Please.” I managed to whimper.

Carlisle looked at me concerned then his eyes softened. “It’s getting late, and it’s dark out.” No no no, he’s not going to try and get me to sleep, I need to see Edward, I need to hear from him that everything is alright… that we are going to go back to the way we were. I start shaking my head. Carlisle continue as he walks over to the window. “Before I leave you for the night to get some rest, I might just open this so you can get some fresh air.” I’m still panicking, I don’t follow, like I care about fresh air at a time like this… Then I see there is a twinkle in his eye. I could kiss him. He smiles and leaves the room turning the overhead light out and just leaving the bedside one on.

I try and compose myself… my heart is running away from me… there is so much I need to ask him, so much we need to talk about. The stabbing pain returns to my head… fuck... I can’t think straight. There is a lot we have to talk about. I can’t just pretend that none of this happened. We are both in a hell of a lot of trouble. And I need to know about Bella… this needs to be sorted.

The curtains flutter and suddenly there he is. Standing sheepishly, just as he did 2 years ago when I caught him in my room for the first time. I nearly passed out with excitement then, and it’s the same now… He so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well… mmm good lyrics for a song?

“Edward.” I say longingly and try to raise my arm to beckon him. He notices my struggle and is by the bed before I can blink an eye.

“I’m Sorry, I’m SO sorry…” Edward moaned, if he were human he would be streaming tears. My heart almost broke.

My head began to throb worse than before. “Edward… I can’t do this now… I… there are so many things I need to say, so many questions I need to ask… but I can’t get my mind round them.”

“I understand…” He looked like a broken man. He went to leave.

“Edward… stay… please.” A genuine smile graced his face. “Your mother has forbidden it.” That crooked smile of his again… ahhh!

“We’ll have to do something about that.” Edward went to protest but the tone in my voice had left no doubts, I would not lose him again because of my mother or anyone. Yes we had stuff to work out. I just hoped that he could find his path, decide to let Bella go and be with me.

He stood there in silence, no doubt reading my mind that was a tangled mess of conflicting thoughts. I wish I could tidy it up for him, but everything had happened so fast.

I noticed he was standing as close as he could to the bed, but he hadn’t touched me. He must have heard the thought.

“I don’t deserve to.” He said his head slumping.

“Please.” I said imploringly and shifted my hand on the bed so it came to within an inch of his. He reached out and took it. A shot of electricity ran up my arm. Even though his hand was ice cold it warmed me so much.  I had missed this… It had been a week and a half since we touched… but it seemed like an eternity.

He gazed into my eyes and I could see the inner torment he was going through.

I didn’t want to add to it but I had to find out one thing.

“Carlisle says that on the beach you...” I couldn’t finish the sentence, I said the words in my mind ‘kissed me’

“I’m sorry, I had no right to.  I just… I had to show you… I had to touch you. To see you were real. To let you know how sorry I was.” He went to pull his hand away but I tightened my grip.

It had been also a week and a half since he kissed me. God I missed that. I missed how we used to be. How we were so free around each other. How we could go from friendship to intimacy and back to friendship effortlessly. Everything seemed natural between us. Like breathing. But not now. Everything had changed… we had changed.  Bloody Bella.

Edward winced slightly. I hadn’t meant to, but I had stumbled on something. Edward still had feelings for her… I stopped breathing the pain in my heart was so great. I wanted to drop his hand like a hot potatoes. I wanted to yell at him. But I couldn’t. Because I also wanted his touch so badly. 

Edward heard my inner struggle. His eyes said it all. His lips didn’t need to move. He was so sorry for what he did. That he couldn’t sort this out immediately. That he didn’t know what he was doing.

I rubbed my thumb on his finger. It was a simple gesture but I hoped it conveyed what I couldn’t yet say in words. I forgave him. I had no choice. He was my life.

“Can you stay the night… like you used to?” I ask.

“Your mother…”

“She’s gone home to rest… she won’t be back till morning… she won’t know. Please?” Edward gave a tight smile. He pulled up a chair in answer to me and sat.

“In the morning I want you to go home and get some rest.” I continued.

He snorted. “You know I don’t need to sleep.”

“But your heart and head need to rest. You look worn out… You should write something, composing always relaxes you.”

“I can’t concentrate.”

“You need to. You need to get your mind off this and let your subconscious give you the answer. I’ll be sleeping, that’s easy for me. You need to distract yourself.  Because when I get out of here we will need to have a serious talk.” He nodded in response. He knew I was right.

“I expect it will be your magnum opus… most composers wrote their greatest works in times of stress.” I added.

“No it won’t be my Magnum Opus… that will only occur the day; if you’ll have me, that we start to spend for ever with each other…” Edward said it as a thinly vailed suggestion. His eyes bored into me wanting an answer.  My heart stopped. All I heard was ‘for ever’ my heart then started with a vengeance like it was beating out of my chest… this is what I wanted to hear for two years now, I so want to say yes, but something stops me.

“Edward,” I say trying to contain myself. “I can’t say, TODAY, what you want me to… unless you are an inveterate liar you really had feelings for Bella.” Edward’s eyes immediately dropped to the floor, apparently unable to keep eye contact with me. I had hit on the truth. “We will need to talk about that. A lot.” I said. Edward appeared to visibly crumble in front of me. My heart went out to him, but I knew that this needed to be sorted right or it would fester.

My subconscious had time to sort out some things while I was in this bed, I had stopped hating Bella. It wasn’t her fault. As far as I could see she would be an innocent victim of all of this. I couldn’t in all conscience let this go on any longer. When I was well enough we needed to sort this out.

But I so wanted to throw my arms around Edward and feel his lips on mine again. I had to do something. It took me all my strength to contain my words to the bear minimum he needed to hear… the absolute, undeniable, put my hand on a stack of bibles, truth.

“Edward…” I said and paused and waited till he nervously glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes through his so, so long lashes, his head still lowered.

“Edward… What I WILL say is… I... Still… Love you…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone that this hasn’t ended neatly, but the two boys are in a whole heap of trouble and I can’t get them out of it in just 9,000 words without it being rushed (Not saying that they will get out of it, that would give the plot away) also, this certainly isn’t the end, not even the beginning of the end, but it is perhaps the end of the beginning?  
> I also wanted to include Bella’s point of view because she got a bad rap from the last chapter and while she may be irritating I never had her down as a romance wrecker.  
> What did you think of Jacob’s point of view? Anyone guessed what his secret is?  
> I’m writing the next chapter as we speak so I hope to post before Christmas, because I want to know what’s going to happen as much as you do. My musical muse has helped again, a certain song by Hozier… not wanting to give too much away ;-)


	3. No Sweeter Innocence Then Our Gentle Sin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is recovering in hospital but still has to face the consequences of his actions… 
> 
> Edward must decide whether he can let Bella go. 
> 
> Jake’s world is spinning out of control too.
> 
> Will the Boy’s love hold true of is it all just too much to hope for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the next chapter to “I Hope You Had the Time of your life”  
> Edwards soundtrack for this chapter is “the Reason” by Hoobastank lyrics below. And Riley’s is “Take Me to Church” by Hozier, which I know is an anti-Church song but I use it in this chapter mainly as a metaphor on the difficulties of coming out.  
> Enjoy…  
> Of course all characters belong to SM, I’ve just had fun playing with them.
> 
> See end for more notes -
> 
> Hoobastank “the Reason”
> 
> "The Reason"
> 
> I'm not a perfect person  
> There's many things I wish I didn't do  
> But I continue learning  
> I never meant to do those things to you  
> And so I have to say before I go  
> That I just want you to know
> 
> I've found a reason for me  
> To change who I used to be  
> A reason to start over new  
> and the reason is you
> 
> I'm sorry that I hurt you  
> It's something I must live with everyday  
> And all the pain I put you through  
> I wish that I could take it all away  
> And be the one who catches all your tears  
> Thats why I need you to hear
> 
> I've found a reason for me  
> To change who I used to be  
> A reason to start over new  
> and the reason is You
> 
> and the reason is You [x3]
> 
> I'm not a perfect person  
> I never meant to do those things to you  
> And so I have to say before I go  
> That I just want you to know
> 
> I've found a reason for me  
> To change who I used to be  
> A reason to start over new  
> and the reason is you
> 
> I've found a reason to show  
> A side of me you didn't know  
> A reason for all that I do  
> And the reason is you
> 
> "Take Me To Church" by Hozier
> 
> My lover's got humour  
> She's the giggle at a funeral  
> Knows everybody's disapproval  
> I should've worshipped her sooner
> 
> If the heavens ever did speak  
> She's the last true mouthpiece  
> Every Sunday's getting more bleak  
> A fresh poison each week
> 
> "We were born sick," you heard them say it
> 
> My church offers no absolutes  
> She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom."  
> The only heaven I'll be sent to  
> Is when I'm alone with you
> 
> I was born sick  
> But I love it  
> Command me to be well  
> Aaay. Amen. Amen. Amen.
> 
> [Chorus 2x:]  
> Take me to church  
> I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies  
> I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife  
> Offer me that deathless death  
> Good God, let me give you my life
> 
> If I'm a pagan of the good times  
> My lover's the sunlight  
> To keep the Goddess on my side  
> She demands a sacrifice
> 
> Drain the whole sea  
> Get something shiny  
> Something meaty for the main course  
> That's a fine-looking high horse  
> What you got in the stable?  
> We've a lot of starving faithful
> 
> That looks tasty  
> That looks plenty  
> This is hungry work
> 
> [Chorus 2x:]  
> Take me to church  
> I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies  
> I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife  
> Offer me my deathless death  
> Good God, let me give you my life
> 
> No Masters or Kings  
> When the Ritual begins  
> There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
> 
> In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene  
> Only then I am human  
> Only then I am clean  
> Ooh oh. Amen. Amen. Amen.
> 
> [Chorus 2x:]  
> Take me to church  
> I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies  
> I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife  
> Offer me that deathless death  
> Good God, let me give you my life

Epov

Riley was sleeping peacefully, my hand still in his, the way it should be. It just felt right.

I heard the nurse coming along the corridor and new that I had only a few moments.

I whispered in Riley’s ear. “I’ve got go…” he stirred a bit. I then leant over and placed my lips on his hot forehead… I wanted to touch his lips, but it was too soon for that. Riley had made that clear last night. I then was out of the window in a blur.

….

Emmett and I sat awkwardly in Carlisle’s office… the only place where we were guaranteed privacy. Carlisle sat behind his desk his fingers templed in front of him and the Chief stood; he was too uncomfortable to sit, even though Carlisle invited him to when we entered.

“Now boys, I have had a talk with your father… It seems that Biers will make a full recovery, and since no one was hurt it seems like a waste of tax payer’s money to have an investigation. So I just want to get a few things straight in my head before you can go.” The Chief said pacing slightly.

Emm breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad for Riley. The last thing he needed was to be dragged through an investigation. No wonder most suicides try it again. A less sensitive police Chief would have dragged Riley through the mud and he might think… I stopped there. I didn’t want to even contemplate it.

“Now I hear there was a set-to at school on Thursday morning.” The Chief continued.

I winced at the memory of what I said to Riley… what was I thinking… that’s just it, I wasn’t.

“Yes Sir, Riley and I had a disagreement.” I said… I was going to do everything I could to keep Bella out of this. She hadn’t told her father about us, and I’m sure that if he found out there would be an inquest this afternoon.

“You had a disagreement in your… err… relationship.” He was so uncomfortable saying that.  Not that he was homophobic or anything, he probably would have been this way if it were me and a girl.  He just didn’t want to go here.

“Yes sir… Riley thought I was… seeing someone else.” Emm let out a humph and I shot him a death glare.

The noise wasn’t lost on the Chief. “And were you?” he asked

This was getting uncomfortable. “No sir…” Emm shot me a filthy look, again not missed by the Chief… for Christ sake Emm what are you trying to do?  But I knew exactly what he was trying to do… I need to be candid about this. “Nothing serious… just a friend.” Emm snorted. “Well, maybe more than a friend but nothing has happened, we haven’t even kissed.” I said looking at Emm he looked sceptical.

“Can you give me his name?” asked the Chief.

“I’d rather not sir, none of this is HER fault and I don’t want her caught up in my stupid actions.” The pronoun surprised the Chief. I could see him running ‘her’ through his mind; surprised, thinking I must swing both ways. He was too embarrassed to mention it.

“SHE,” he emphasised still trying to work it out. “had nothing to do with this?”

I glared at Emm begging him not to start. He looked at me, nodded and thought, ’I’ll get you later, when there will be no witnesses’. I nodded in reply in thanks trying to ignore the threat, all this happened faster than the human eye could have perceived.

“No sir. She didn’t know that I was with Riley… we haven’t come out. We were waiting till college.  We didn’t want to hurt people.”

The Chief looked at me closely, up till now I had got along well with him because I along with Emm Jasper and Riley were the only boys in the town not to be on his watch list as trouble makers, He wasn’t sure now if he liked me much. “OK… no sense in bringing in innocent people…”

“So this argument was the reason why Biers did what he did?”

“Yes sir.” I said guiltily, it wasn’t lost on the Chief.

“There’s no other reason that you can think of why he did it.”

“No sir.”

The Chief processed this. He was trying to assess the likelihood of Riley trying again.

“Do you have anything to add?” he asked Emm.

I looked at Emm pleadingly. He stared coldly at me.

“Other than my brother is the world’s biggest dick head, no… Sir.” Charlie smiled at this, and I thanked Emm with my eyes.

The Chief turned to address Carlisle “Ok, well that just about does it… you noticed I wasn’t recording any of this. I think the family wants the official story to be ‘cliff diving’ and as long as Biers isn’t a risk to himself, I won’t officially contradict that.” Carlisle looked thankful. He then turned to me. “But you better sort it out between you, Riley and this girl, because if anything like this happens again on my watch, I’m gunna throw the book on you.” He stared at me as though this was a promise not a threat.

“Yes sir, I’m seeing her this afternoon to clear it up.” I added.

“Good… try and do it a bit more subtly, I don’t want to have to fish her out of the drink.” Charlie said, he had no idea how much that statement applied to him. He leant over and shook Carlisle’s hand and then left the room. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

“He’s right Edward… you should be careful what you say to Bella… you can’t read her thoughts; this time you might not be so lucky.” Said Carlisle; I was all too aware of this.

“Who the fuck cares, just do it!” said Emm getting up and storming out. Carlisle shook his head.

“Edward, you might as well go home, Mrs Biers has refused to let any of us but me talk to Riley.” Carlisle advised… it still hurt. I nodded and got up. “oh, and can you get Rose to send Emm back in here I want to have a talk with him.” I knew what it was about. Emm was just waiting to get me alone in private so he could show me the business end of a redwood.

I complied and went out; everyone was getting ready to leave after hearing the good news about the Chief and knowing they wouldn’t be able to speak to Riley till he was back at school. But they were all just relieved he was going to be ok, his old self.

I went over and whispered to Rose, who went and grabbed Emm by the ear and dragged him crying in pain into Carlisle office… why Emm put up with her, sometimes was beyond me.

Emmett was thrown bodily into Carlisle office by Rose who closed the door after him. I couldn’t help eavesdropping.

“Thank you Emmett.” Said Carlisle ignoring the display, he was used to it.

“Like I had a lot of choice.” he said rubbing his ear and thinking of a revenge.

“Emmett, I want you to leave Edward alone…” Emm glared at Carlisle. “I mean it. This isn’t easy for him; he’s trying to work his way through this… just give him some time to do the right thing.”

“Time?  Fuck Carlisle he’s playing fast and loose with both of them… this needs to stop now before it destroys Riley.”

“And killing your brother will help Riley how? You think he will thank you for killing his mate?”

Emmett let out a loud humph and crossed his arms.

“Emmett. Just give them time. I know Edward can be… difficult… this whole incident has been most disappointing… and I shall be having words with him about it.  But, for Riley’s sake, just let them sort it out.”

“OK… but if he hurts Riley again all bets are off.  Someone’s got to stick up for the little dude’s interests.” Emm said got up and stalked out.

….

I did as Riley had suggested last night. When I went back home I sat at the piano with a full sheaf of music paper, a set of pencils and a sharpener on the small table next to it.

I tried a few cords until I got the right one, then I began. Strumming occasionally, but mainly just using my inner tonality. My hand scratched notes faster than the eye could see, I went through page after page. If I made a mistake or didn’t like something I’d just scrunch the paper up and start again, I had learnt that when I was pouring my soul into a composition not to waste time rewriting or working out exactly what didn’t work. Just go back to the last bit that did and start again.

I was completely lost.  My broken heart and my tortured soul flying onto the page. Yet there was an underlying melody, lighter, sweeter, a hint of hope for what might happen if Riley and I could get back what we had. It was like Riley’s theme from his sonata but more ephemeral, like our relationship now, gossamer thin and stretched to tearing, but its material was still withstanding the tempest it was being buffeted by.

Time meant nothing when I was like this. Before Riley came along, when not at school, whole days could pass unnoticed, once even a week and I didn’t pay heed. Only finally the burning in my throat for blood stopped my scribbling and forced me to take stock of the world beyond the piano and paper.

I was interrupted by my phone ringing.  I would normal ignore it, but I thought it might be about Riley so I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the number…

Fuck, I had completely forgot… Bella.

I timidly answered it.

“Bella?”

“Where the hell are you, we said 4:30 outside school, it’s now 5:00… you’re not bailing on me are you?” she sounded more than pissed.

“Sorry Bella, I was caught up in… stuff. I lost track of time.”

“So get your ass down here.”

“Bella… I… can’t… It’s too soon. I can’t get my head straight.”

“What’s to get straight.”

“Bella my best friend nearly died and it’s all my fault… It’s doing my head in… I can’t…”

“Edward are you trying to ditch me? Is that what this is?”

I held my breath… it would be so easy to say yes. Just get it over with. Dump her on the phone and get on with my life… but it wasn’t that simple. Not only was that unforgivably rude… I couldn’t do it without looking at her to see if she was ok.  But also… I wanted her to still be friends at least… I didn’t want to lose her totally.  I guess I wanted everything and I couldn’t have it. “Bella…” I breathed heavily trying to collect my thoughts… “I can’t do this now…”

“Then when?” she fumed.

“Sunday morning. Riley will be going home with his mother… he’ll be alright there; we can meet up in the wood behind your house so you don’t have to go far.”

“10am. Be there.” She said and hang up.

I breathed a sigh of relief, I knew I was just forestalling the inevitable but I still felt like I had dodged a bullet… until.

“What the Fuck are you doing.” Emmet boomed from the doorway. He heard it all. “You didn’t do it… are you ever going to? Or are you going to string both of them along…”

“Emmett…”

“No, fuck this. What’s wrong with you. You nearly kill the guy your supposedly in love with and you pull this shit… what is it?  Is she that good a root you can’t leave her… what is it some kinky shit she does with her pelvis?”

“Emmett… we haven’t done anything… we haven’t even kissed”

This made Emmett even madder. “Then what the fuck are you doing.” I could have said that he had not always been faithful to Rose, but he wasn’t in the mood for a debate, he was in the mood to rip me to pieces. And I was too tired to fight.  I had no idea he felt that strongly about Riley… it was almost like a platonic love.

“Emm, I’m finishing it on Sunday… I haven’t had a chance to talk to Riley yet about it. I don’t know if he even wants me back.”

“Bull, you know exactly what he wants, it’s what he’s wanted from the day he walked through that door 2 years ago. He’s not the one that’s holding this up… it’s you.” He was fuming. He still stood in the doorway. He didn’t trust himself to keep his promise to Carlisle of hands off if he stood anywhere near me.

“Sunday Emm.”

“You better, because come Sunday noon if you haven’t ditched her… I’ll kill you.” He said menacingly and stormed off.

‘Thanks Emm, nice to know you care.’ I thought. But I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t understand what I was doing, so why would he.

I took a deep breath and looked at the music I had just written… suddenly it all became very clear in my head… Riley was right… I would sort it out while composing, he knew me so well.  I picked up my phone and rang Carlisle to ask him to let me know when Riley was left to sleep tonight, so I could come round. I knew Riley would want me there. Yes, Emm was right… Riley had only wanted one thing ever since I first met him; my love… but I have broken him since then. Will he forgive me.

RPOV

It was decided I was well enough for visitors, but the people I wanted to see the most, my family; the Cullen’s were forbidden entry by my mother, which was like a knife to my side…

First Rev. Ryan came in.  He cheered me up a little. He had tried to get my mother to see sense about the Cullen’s but she wasn’t budging. He quipped “I’m sure this is how the mountains felt about Mohammed”.  We had a brief discussion touching on what I did. He said that God would forgive me, but in future for me to come and talk to him at any time day or night, rather than doing anything drastic. That since his wife died and his kids were all grown up and moved away with families of their own he wouldn’t mind a chat, even if it is in the small hours of the morning. “Old Fella’s like me don’t sleep too well at the best of times. It would be a break from me pacing and worrying about Sunday’s sermon.”

Next was Mr Newton, who was concerned I was alright. He had put two and two together but said he wouldn’t even tell Mike since he had verbal dihoreah. He asked if it were to do with money… because he could give me an advance on my next holiday wages if that was it… I assured him it wasn’t and thanked him. Touched by his kindness.

Then Cora came. She was relieved I was alright; then pissed at what I had done (the Chief had confided in her knowing that she was discreet), finally ending in tears. “Just come to the diner if you have a problem… well sort it out…” She said and made me promise never to do anything like that again. I agreed, knowing that if Edward and I fell apart I would make sure I didn’t come back next time.

Finally, Jacob came. He tried to put a brave face on it but as soon as the door was closed behind him the tears started flowing. He came and hugged me and no doubt reflexively gave me a big kiss – on the lips.

“Why did you let the leach do it to you?” he said angrily.

“He didn’t do it, I jumped…” I said.

“Yeah, he mightn’t have thrown you off the cliff but he pushed you to it with Bella.” I noticed when he said her name it was full of emotion… When I got out of here I was going to have to explore that one.

I didn’t know what to say to that, it was true and I had never lied to Jake in my life. There was a frought pause. I could tell there was something he wasn’t telling me. I was going to make him spill it.

“What are you holding back Jake… you know we have no secrets… were blood brothers for life.” I said.

He paused. I could see him thinking about whether he should. Finally, he made a decision.

Tears again started streaming down his face… “How could you tell THEM about US?”

I looked confused. “Who?”

“The leaches… you told them what we were, what we did… how could you… I thought it was special. I thought…” His heart was an open wound. I had no idea he cared this much.

“Jake… I didn’t tell them… I never would… Edward read your mind… he asked me point blank, I couldn’t lie to him. I never mentioned it to another living… or dead soul.”

“But they said…”

“Do you think they might have been just jerking your chain?”

“The Fucking bastards…” He was furious. But I had something I needed to find out.

“Jake…” I said calmly. He glared at me. “I thought you said… what we had… that it was just fooling around. That you were straight… That even you and Paul were just experimenting?” That brought him back down with a crash.

“I… I… I was 13, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted…”

“I was only 15, I didn’t have much more of one.”

“But you chose the leach…”

“Jake… I told you from the start that I wanted to be together with Edward… he just had this dumb idea that a vampire and a human could never make love… Jake if I knew you were serious I never would have gone along with it. I thought we were best friend with benefits, that, you and Paul would continue on till you met the girl of your dreams like you always said; and then…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

Jake Continued “I don’t know what to think… I… it’s difficult… if it gets out that I might be gay I could be thrown out of the tribe… they don’t go for things like that…”

“Jake, I will never tell anyone… nor will the Cullen’s… there not like that.”

“They said they would”

“When?” I stared him down.

“When I said I would tell Bella about you and Edward…” he said guiltily.

“I wonder why?” I was pissed… he was angry at me for supposedly telling my mate about some fooling around I did back when I thought we were never going to be mates meanwhile he was going to out me and Edward to Bella… I took some deep breaths to calm myself… he was just a kid… I wish I knew what he wanted. I needed to find out.

“So, how come you care about Edward and Bella.” I said fishing. He flushed… bingo.

“I… I…” he was stuck.

“Come on spill… no secrets?”

“I kind of like her…” he said his eyes hit the floor and his chin was on his chest.

“Really? And she reciprocates?” I asked.

“Whenever that leach isn’t around her.”

“And so why are you giving me a hard time about us not being together?”

“I… I’m sorry. I… I still feel for you.  A lot… And when I thought you had… Then when you survived I thought that maybe if you ditched the blood sucker we could…”

“Is that what you really want?”

“I don’t know.”

“Looks like you need to do some thinking.”

“Yeah… but what does it matter, as long as the leach is around I might as well not exist to both of you.” My heart went out for poor Jake.

“Look I’m always here to talk to.  Just tell me what you are thinking. It’s awkward that I’m part of this whole love triangle thing. But we can work it out… What about Paul?”

“He says he’s found a girl and doesn’t want to anymore…”

“God I’m sorry Jake.”

“Yeah… God, I’ve fucked everything up…”

“No, compared to the shit I’m in, your laughing… just go home and analyse your feelings.  Your 15… your bound to have lots of crushes… and well it went a lot further with us… just think about which one of the three of us you can’t live without.  If that’s not of us… then maybe there’s someone else for you.”

“What if that’s you…” Fuck… he would have to go there.

“I don’t know.  I have to say I love Edward. I guess I also love you in a way. But it’s not the same…”

“You know your mother has forbidden Edward to have anything to do with you.” Fuck Jake don’t do this…

“Yes,” I said flatly…

“And if Edward stays with Bella?”

“Fuck I hate hypotheticals… We’re all going to have to do a lot of thinking to sort this out… I promise you I will tell you as soon as anything happens.”

Jake seemed satisfied by this. He gave me a hug and then left.

….

Carlisle was the last to see me for the night after my mother left… He again opened the window cryptically saying I needed fresh air.  I could see where Edward got his obsession with respecting peoples wishes…

As I waited for Edward I ran over the course of the day… The next thing I knew Edward was standing next to me.

“I hear Jacob was here.” He said, jealousy pouring from him.

“Yeah… his feelings are pretty messed up…” Edward dead panned. “Edward, I told him what I always do… I love you.” His eyes softened. “I’m sorry that I can’t undo the past… that back then I was just a dumb horny kid that had taken your no sex thing too literally… You know I never meant to hurt you… I had no idea until now that Jacob was serious about me.”

“Who am I to criticise… Your hear because of me… and I’m not a 15-year-old horny kid.” He looked hurt.

“Edward…” I reached out with my arm and took his hand. I said it all with my thoughts. He smiled a tired smile. “How did your composing go?” I said changing the subject.

“You were right… that and a tactless discussion with Emmett cleared it all up in my head…” Edward said.

“Are you going to elucidate or keep me on tenter hooks?”

“First I’d like to say that I love you…” Oh fuck this isn’t going the way that I wanted it to… Edward picked up on my feelings. “Just hang in there… I’ve got to say this. it’s not easy, but I need to say it.”

I nodded for him to go on and gave his hand a little squeeze.

“I love you SO much… I also realise… I love Bella.” Oh fuck, there was a ringing sound in my ears and my blood pressure started to skyrocket. Edward squeezed my hand to get my attention back. “It’s a kind of platonic love… I don’t feel the need to be… intimate with her… I was curious…”

“You…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“No, I haven’t even kissed her. I have thought of it… but I just couldn’t.  That part of me belongs to you… I could never be unfaithful…” A wave of relief washed over me… followed secondly by aware of guilt… I had not been so pure… While once we became lovers I had never cheated so much as by thought on Edward. I had foolishly betrayed him with Jacob and Paul before that…

I had rationalised back then that I was not a virgin, so it didn’t matter.

And that was it… I had experience the joys of the flesh before… the idea of a sexless life was unthinkable… When we had the argument; when he confronted me about Jake, I had told him this… It was different for him, he was still a virgin, with him it was all theory, I had lost my virginity at 12 and I knew what I was missing.

Edward squeezed my hand to bring me back to earth. “I don’t blame you… I just wanted you to know… I’m going to see her tomorrow… I’m going to tell her the same thing... Riley, I can change… I won’t hurt you again I promise… That’s If you still want me.”

I didn’t know what to say… then I kicked myself… there was only one thing to say… “Yes.”

Our lips met in a chased kiss but it had me tingling all over.

….

BPOV

I stood there on the trail from my house that lead into the woods. It was 9:55am and I was already pacing. The sky was leaden and it looked like it was going to pour rain… I hoped it held off long enough for us to talk.

What Jake said or more what he didn’t say was running through my head. 

After I left Edward at the hospital I caught him up, he was walking the halls with his dad. I asked him about Riley and Edward. 

He took me away from his father into a deserted corridor.  He was frightened and cagey. He said nothing… it was strange, almost like he was covering for Edward.  But I know he hates Edward, so why?  Does Edward have something on Jake?  But I can’t imagine Edward doing something like that… then again a couple of days ago I couldn’t imagine Edward having a gay affair, which is, I’m pretty sure, what lies at the base of this.

Did Riley find out about the Cullen’s secret and blackmail Edward to have sex with him?

No the Cullen’s are like super close to Riley, if he was doing shit like that they wouldn’t be so chummy with him… What is it…

“Bella” Edwards soft voice startles me and I trip over a tree root and nearly go face first in the dirt, Edward catches me. He looks deep into my eyes.  There is so much pain in his.

He takes a deep breath, relishing my scent which he has said drives him crazy.  Hopefully now in a good way, not in a ‘I want to suck you dry’ way.

He places me back on my feet. “Thanks” I say shifting my hair out of my face.

“So what’s going on. Why are you acting like this?” I say, Irritation flashed across Edward’s face.

“Riley has gone home with his mother, and is resting peacefully. He should be ok.” Edward says tightly.

Oh fuck, I guess I should have asked how he was before charging in with my questions. “Oh, Sorry… How is Riley?” like I care at the moment, but I needed to sort this out and a pissed off Edward wasn’t going to cooperate.

“His concussion is wanning, the contusion on the back of his head is healing well. The headaches are still there but he is being medicated to relive them. The other injuries are superficial and shall heal easily…” He states mater-of-factly, then adds almost snidely. “Thanks for asking.” WTF???

“Edward…”

“What do you want me to say…” Edwards says impatiently.

OK just charge in.

“Is Riley in love with you?” I held my breath for the answer.

Edwards face is devoid of emotion, almost like a mask. “Yes.” He says bluntly.

OK at least he’s telling the truth… I let out my breath, do I want to know the truth? Well here goes…

“Are you… in Love with Riley?” Again with the breath holding… please say no, please say no, please say no…

“Yes.” Fuck, my world just fell away from me. It’s like I was standing on the edge of an abys and the ground beneath me just gave way.

“What?” was all I could manage to say.

“I am in love with Riley…” he said, I looked into his eyes in case he was joking; no he was totally sincere, there was also a little gleam there when he said ‘Riley’ that made my stomach ache.  ”I’m Sorry I behaved the way I did… I was intoxicated by you. I wasn’t thinking straight.” He explained.

“How long?” I asked, I hoped it was a new thing, maybe over winter break or something. Nothing that serious. He looked at me curiously as if he didn’t understand the question. “How long have you two been…” I couldn’t say the word.

“Probably if I’m honest since we first met in September 2003. We have been lovers since that Christmas.”

“You mean you actually…” again I couldn’t finish it.  I have no problem with people being gay. Love is love right?  But this was the guy I was in love with telling me that for over a year now he had… and he lead me on…

“Yes…” He said without the slightest hint of shame… “Both ways if you are curious.” He even sounded proud of it.

This just couldn’t be happening to me… no way. 

“So What… I was going to be your bit of stuff on the side?”

“No… I don’t know. When I fell for you I was blinded to everything. You were so different from anything in my experience…”

I thought quickly “OK, we can do this… it’s the 21st century, I’m a modern girl… you can fuck around with Riley if you like…” I hated the idea but I was desperate. “Just as long as you clean it before you put it anywhere near me.” I said looking at his groin.  Rage flew up in his eyes and they went as black as coal.

“I hoped we could remain friends,” He breathed over me. “That we could have some sort of platonic relationship… but I can see that isn’t going to work.” He fumed. “It’s over. I’m Sorry… Goodbye.” He made to walk off but I grabbed his wrist.

“No, Edward… You can’t.”

“Bella, You're just not good for me.” He said resignedly.

 

I couldn’t understand “I'm not good enough for you?”

 

“I'm just sorry, I let this go on for so long.”

 

“Please...don't.” was all I could think of saying.

 

“Goodbye.” He said finally and shook loose of my grip and began walking up the path away from my house. 

 

“Edward?” I went to follow but he broke into a run and was gone in the blink of an eye.

 

“Edward!” I called after him, I couldn’t believe what was happening. “Edward!” I screamed in vain as I ran up the path after him… but he was gone, not even a branch stirred.

 

I stumbled about in the woods first looking for him and then as my world fell apart around me I just blindly walked on. It began to get dark.  Finally, I stumbled and fell and I didn’t have the strength to get up. I huddled into a ball, cold and numb and wished the earth would open up and devour me… I didn’t want this life, not without Edward in it.

I fell asleep and dreamed a large animal with bright yellow eyes was looking at me from the bushes.

RPOV

After our first kiss for nearly two weeks last night we talked and talked. We said we would wait on formally coming out till the Bella situation was sorted. We would talk Sunday night; probably on the phone given Mum’s behavior; and plan when we would do it… I wouldn’t be going to school for at least this week so we had some breathing room. Edward Lay in the bed beside me and I fell asleep in his arms for the first time in nearly two weeks.

….

Edward woke me when he heard the Nurse coming up the corridor.  Edward kissed me goodbye, passionately this time… he was a different person… this was all going to work out. Bella and he would just be friends… who knows she might rebound into Jacob?

I wished Edward well on his mission…

The smile was wiped from my face when the nurse entered and informed me I was being discharged this morning… Great... I knew Mum couldn’t contain herself… that in the course of this afternoon she would start up about why I did it.  I just prayed I had the strength to not rise to her bate.

Mum drove me home under a sky pregnant with rain… it looked ominous which didn’t help my mood. We talked about small things, what was going on in politics, current affairs, so on. I knew she was waiting though.

We pulled into the drive and my car was sitting there.

“Wow, someone went and got my car.” I noticed.

“One of the Cullen boys brought it round.” Mum said the name ‘Cullen’ as if it were profane.

“Yea, there great mates to me.” I offered trying to let her know how I felt about them.

She didn’t reply. We got out and went inside. I was just sitting down in the lounge when she came out with it.

“Honey, I don’t think you should spend as much time with the Cullen children.”

“Why?” I asked innocently, I knew perfectly well.

“Their…” she was struggling for words. “Too boisterous.”

“Mum… their teenagers…”

“You’re not like that.”

“That’s because I’m weird.”

“No you’re not, your sensible.”

“Mum, I’m weird…” she went to disagree but I interrupted. “Don’t worry I’m not going to change, I like being weird… but the Cullen’s are the only ones who like me for that too.”

“Surely you can find some new friends.”

“Mum, you hate all the other kids my age… when they first came here you used to sing the praises of the Cullen kids… you were happy I was friends with them.”

“That’s before I got to know them.”

“There just the same… They’ve helped me a lot.”

“I still think you shouldn’t see them.”

“They’re my friends and they’re going to stay that way.”

“I’m telling you that you are not going to see them any more…” Here we go.

“We sit in class together, what am I going to do ignore them?”

“But they’re so common, so American.  You should find some new friend that are more suitable.”

“Mum, Carlisle is a famous surgeon, Esme is a famous architect… their certainly not common. The Cullen’s are all straight-A students… they’re as good as it gets.”

“I’m telling you that you are not to see them again. I’ll talk to the principle and have the class seating reassigned… that should solve the problem.”

“They’re my friends… Their staying my friends… end of story. You can’t run my life.” By now we were screaming at each other.

“Yes I can I’m your mother.”

“I’ll see who I want to see and you can’t stop me.”

She stopped, I could see her re-calculating her strategy. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I think you should especially stop seeing Edward.”

“Why he’s my BEST friend?”

“In the Hospital… he made advances on me of a sexual kind, rubbing up against me…” Oh fuck she really is desperate. I couldn’t help a laugh. She fumed… “What do you think is funny about that… he’s a sex offender.”

“Didn’t happen Mum, stop lying…”

“How dare you… How would you know.:”

“Because he’s gay!” fuck, I didn’t mean to say that.

“And how do you know that?” fuck she just played me.

“Mum, were best friend, we tell each other everything. It doesn’t matter.” I tried to recover.

“I know exactly what the two of you have been up to behind my back.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“The disgusting things you get up to…”

“What!”

“You’re not to see him… he’s a sick filthy gay…”

“Well so am I Mum, what are you going to do about that!” I screamed back; Fuck why the hell did I just say that…. Edward will be furious.

“Oh no you’re not… not in my house. I don’t want a sick queer for a son.”

“Fine… I’ll go and live with Edward… were in love. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Get out! Get out of my house. Go and live with your filthy friend but don’t ever talk to me again until you have stopped this nonsense.”

“Fine.” I was so pissed off I didn’t care. I went over to the petty cash tin.

“You’re not taking MY money to support YOUR filthy lifestyle.” She said.

“It’s my money. The money I earned at Newtons last weekend… Sorry Mum, you’re going to have to pay the bills all by yourself now.” I said getting my money and scooping my keys off the cupboard.

“Well with you not around I won’t have so many.”

“Fine, enjoy it.” I said and stormed out.

I slammed the front door behind me and walked down to my car.  It was pouring rain now, but I didn’t care, it matched my mood.

I climbed in and sat behind the wheel. There were no tears; which was strange, I was just… numb.

I turned the keys in the ignition and pulled out of our drive and headed down the street. I didn’t want to be still sitting there looking pathetic if Mum came out to apologise… no she could wait. Not that I really thought she would. I don’t think the word ‘sorry’ had left her lips in her life. When she was wrong she just used to explain it away, sometimes, but usually just pretend it never happened. I had grown up thinking it normal to pretend that certain conversations just no longer existed.

I pulled up down the road and let out a deep breath. My head started throbbing again… Fuck I left my meds behind… screw it I’m not going in to get them. Maybe the pain will distract me.

Now what…  I tried to think about what to do… who to talk to, where to go. Someone needed to know. This was too big to forget. And if she was going to get bitchy about Edward then I was going to launch a jihad on her arse.

I thought Carlisle might be at the hospital, but then he might not. Rev. Ryan might be at the manse, but then again not.  Over and over again as I thought of these, a constant thought kept coming to me. There was only one place where I had always felt totally safe. Totally protected. Totally free. There was always someone there, and if there wasn’t it was never locked.

I pulled away from the kerb and started to drive through the town.  It was difficult to drive with the concussion, my head kept swimming a little, like I was drunk, But I had no other option.

I turned the radio on for distraction, trying to stop my head whirring around and around… replaying the hateful and hurtful conversation over and over again… It proved to be a fatal mistake.

After the announcer twatted on for a few seconds a song came on. From the first chord I knew I had made a mistake, but for some reason I was paralysed to turn the radio off.

“Well I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord”

It was Jeff Buckley’s cover of Leonard Cohens ‘Halleluiah’.

I began to involuntarily asses my situation… I had just come out too my mother and told her I loved Edward, and even though I’m fresh out of hospital she threw me out of the house. Saying I was sick. Before that she said I would never see Edward again. My life was so fucked… Now the dams broke and the tears started.

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

And I don’t know what happened with Edward and Bella… maybe this was all for nothing. Maybe when he sees her he will change his mind. Realise she is the one for him. ‘She can give him what I can’t’, that’s what he said to me at school… I guess that means a family. She has ovaries, I don’t; it could be as simple as that. With me it would always be a half family, even if we adopt or surrogate. The kids will be one of ours, but not ours. How can I compete with that…?

With her he will have a normal life. No one will stare or say hurtful things.  He could get married to her tomorrow and the whole town would come along to see and be happy. But with me we will be ‘living in sin’ in more ways than one until one day, maybe in 50 years they change the law… how old will I be then. Will Edward, still 17, want to walk up the isle with his grandpa? We will have had to have suffered abuse and discrimination every day of our lives till then… and then people will be just revolted, think I’m a dirty old man, a leatcher, a paedophile!

How dare I ask Edward to give up happiness for just me. To live a life of exclusion and discrimination. How dare I.

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Hallelujah

So maybe I did this for nothing…

I turned into the Cullen’s drive. Tears making my vision blur and I had to slow down to see up the heavily forested driveway.

I may be going to get my heart broken all over again… But I had to know… and I needed the Cullen’s so badly right now. Not just Edward, but all of them. I needed Esme’s tender arms wrapped around me telling me it would be alright even if she didn’t believe it, but just saying it to make me feel better.

I pulled up outside the Cullen house. They were all but one standing there with puzzled expressions on their face. They must have heard my car way off.

Jasper immediately picked up my emotions and ran over and hugged me.  I have no idea how he found the inner strength to do that, to resist his primal urges, but I will always remember it and I will always be thankful.

“What happened?” he said, he stood there in the pouring rain holding me, not giving a damn how wet he got.

“Yes Riley, why aren’t you at home resting.” Said Carlisle concerned.

“I told Mum about Edward and Me…” I whimpered into Jaspers shoulder, a human wouldn’t have been able to catch it, but I was used to being around them. “She kicked me out of the house.” I started Sobbing and Jasper rubbed my back. I was in a millisecond surrounded by the warmth of the Cullen family. I could feel them stroking me, letting me know they were here for me. I sniffled and raised my head a bit. “She said she didn’t want a sick queer for a son and that I wouldn’t be welcome until I changed my mind.” Again with the sobs. My whole body ached from the strain.

Then it came to me… they mightn’t want me here creating an emotional mess for them to clean up… hadn’t I put them through enough already. “I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I should have gone to a refuge or…”

“No.” Esme said Firmly… “This will always be your home; you are always welcome. I looked into her eyes and saw the love and tenderness there…  a stark contrast to my own mother’s dark eyes filled with rage and disgust… that did it, I started to sob again.

Before I knew it Jasper tucked an arm under my legs and I was swept off my feet and carried inside.

Emmett went to my car to get my non-existent bags. He let out a deep sigh when he found the boot and the back seat empty, then followed us inside.

When inside and upstairs in the lounge room Jaz placed me on a sofa and Esme covered me with a blanket, I hadn’t realised I was still soaking wet and shivering.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Esme asked.

I shook my head. “No, not now thanks… I still need to get my head around it all.”

Esme smiled… “Poor dear. Can I get you something to eat?”

I smiled. “No thanks, I’m so churned up I don’t think I could keep anything down.” She patted my matted hair and smiled tenderly, then getting up and sitting over on the love seat with Carlisle.

Jaz was still by my side crouching on the floor.  I could feel the waves of calm he was spreading over me, then followed by love. It felt like the best warm blanket in my life. Like being in a snug bed watching it snow blizzard outside. I smiled to thank him. He returned it with those damned dimples of his.  God, if Edward chucks me in I don’t know how I’m going to resist Jasper… Then I looked over to Alice, full of concern for me and felt immediately guilty… How could I hurt such an innocent? No I couldn’t be the home wrecker. I wasn’t perfect, but I couldn’t bust up their love.

Jasper sensed my feelings and eased back on the pathokinesis. I thanked him with my eyes.

To distract myself from Jasper I asked where Edward was. Jasper looked pained at this.  I knew why. My heart went out to him.  I wasn’t very subtle, but I knew I was in an emotionally vulnerable state and liable to do something stupid that I would regret later.

“He’s going to break it up with Bella…” Alice said.

 “He better be or I’ll fucking break him up.” Emm said.

“Emmett.” Carlisle said sternly.

“No Carlisle… we’ve put up with his shit for decades now. And it just gets worse. Now he nearly killed someone… when is it going to get too much and you bring him into line.” Emmet fumed.

“Emmet, don’t speak to Carlisle like that.” Esme rebuked. Emm held his ground, but said no more.

“Stop.” I said Firmly. “Edward and I need to work this out… it’s going to take time. I know it’s not easy for him. But I love him and I want him to make the right decision for him. If that means Bella’s in his life, I’ll just have to deal with it.”

“That’s Bullshit.” Emm exploded.

“Emm, I can’t make him love me if he loves another… So just let us muddle through…” Seeing the pained expression on his face I changed tack.  “I’m so glad you’ve got my back though. I always know you’ve got me.” I said sincerely. If Emm was a human, he would have blushed… the big softie.

EPOV

I sped home trying to get Bella’s wailing out of my head… it didn’t work. I so wanted to sink into Riley arms, he was the only one who could get me out of these moods, chase away the thoughts running through my head.  I almost drove over to his place… but I had been forbidden by Mrs Biers from setting foot anywhere on their property… no wiggle room there and to my eternal damnation I was a man of honour.

I was startled to see Riley’s car parked out the front of our house. Didn’t he trust me to do what I said I would do… Did he have to come and check up on me… I fumed at this until I got closer and his thoughts washed over me. Such despair. I screeched to a halt and was out of the car and by Riley’s side practically before he had heard the tire screech. Jasper fell back courteously. Though of course he didn’t want to. He went and stood beside Alice.

Riley’s face was a mess. His eyes blotchy and swollen, his cheeks wet from tears.

“What happened baby?” I said, I couldn’t help the term of endearment, it just fell out… It wasn’t missed on Riley, or anyone else. Emm smiled contentedly.

“I came out to Mum.” Riley sniffled. I must have looked shocked. We had talked about this, planed it… he had jumped the gun. Riley picked up on my expression, tears began streaming again from his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t plan to, it just happened. Mum said I couldn’t see you and that started a row and that lead to her starting to make shit up about you which I said couldn’t happen because you were gay, and then she started slagging you off about it so I told her I was gay… which she didn’t believe so I told her about us; that’s when she kicked me out of the house.” sobs wracked his body.

My fists balled.  I so wanted to go and punish his mother for hurting such a beautiful young man… But I knew they could be put to better use; so I un-balled them and wrapped them around Riley. He threw his arms around me and wept on my shoulder.  I stroked the back of his head with one hand and made comforting circles on his back with the other. All the time kissing his shoulder, his neck his ear, his wet hair anywhere I could reach… I wanted to show his so much that I was here for him, that he was safe. All the time I whispered soothing words to him, that it would be alright, that I was here. That I would take care of him.

When the sobs subsided I tilted my head and gazed deep into his eyes, holding both sides of his head. “She doesn’t mean it… she’ll apologise given time.” I tried to make it sound like I meant it.

Riley smiled, he didn’t believe a word of it. “You now Mum, she’s not going to change no matter what. She hates gays, think we should burn in hell.”

“But she loves you.” I said.

“She did… but I just did the unforgivable.  She’ll only have me back if I give up being gay…”

“I’m sure she will come to her senses.” I said. Riley looked at me sceptically. There was no point debating it. What happens will happen.

“I’m sorry for coming over, I know we said that I’d give you time… I just couldn’t think of where else to go.” He started sobbing again.

“Shhhh…” I breathed. “I’m so glad you are here… I almost went by your place to see you.”

“I don’t expect anything; I could sleep on the sofa… I’ll be no bother.” He continued, my heart broke a little.

“I’m not having the only person in this house that needs to sleep, sleeping on a sofa.” I said Firmly. “You will sleep in OUR Bed…” The attributive adjective wasn’t lost on him and he smiled… I then added “with me, if you will allow me.” I said, a nervous smile crept across my face. I hoped I wasn’t pushing him too fast, I so wanted this to work, I didn’t want him thinking I just wanted his body.

His heart rate increased, as did his breathing, his mind swooned and all he could think of saying was “That would be nice.” I gave him the crooked smile I knew he liked so much and was met with the desired response. His lips locked with mine and I savoured every minute of it.

We were nocked from our embrace almost literally by a knock on the door.

“What the Fuck, who visits us.” Said Emm going down stairs to investigate.

When the front door opened a familiar smell wafted in… Vampire. I kicked myself, I had been so caught up in the moment I hadn’t felt them at all.

Three vampires appeared from the stairwell. A White man wearing jeans and a suede bomber jacket, his long blond hair in a ponytail.  A muscular Black man with a fine goatee beard, long dreadlocks and wearing jeans, a taupe jacket and white frilly silk scarf. And a red haired woman who looked like an escapee from a 70’s hippie commune with jeans and a fluffy sheep’s skin coat and no shoes.

“My name is Laurent,” the black one said, “And these are my companions Victoria and James…”

Leonard Cohen "Halleluliah"

Well I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

But baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya  
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
And love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me do ya  
But remember when I moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above  
But all I've ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya

And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah  
Hallelujah

Hallelujah

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Dear, just when it all seemed to be going fine for our boy’s SM’s cannon butts in… Reading the backstory of Twilight, James and his coven were in Forks to check out the Cullen’s, they had yet to do that in my version so hence this was inevitable…  
> I thought about writing the Jake thing differently, but thought this was more realistic… teenagers do dumb things. So don’t be too hard on Riley. Most of us have slept with someone and regreted it later.  
> The next chapter as you can imagine is pretty involved, I like to try and keep as close to cannon as I can without compromising my own story, so I doubt if I’ll be able to post the next chapter till after new year (Sorry!!!) So that being said, thank you all for reading, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I’ll be Dreaming of a White Christmas while ‘enjoying’ 75 F  
> NB Speaking of Christmas, I’d encourage you all to read my soon to be posted Christmas outtake of this story about Edward and Riley’s first Christmas… It has a bit of Riley’s back story so you know how he ended up in Forks.  
> Also for some holiday reading I’ll try and post the next chapter of “Wolf’s Cry in the distance” when Riley goes to the Cullen house for the first time. It’s pretty silly, but hell a house full of teenage Vampires would be pretty crazy wouldn’t it?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James discovers Riley is human and Edwards mate. Will Edward be able to keep Riley safe till the Cullen’s kill James?  
> Will Riley go along placidly with Edward’s plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas guy’s… I couldn’t make you wait till New Year to find out what happens to the boy’s vis-a-vee James. Will it be the same as SM wrote?
> 
> I have tried to keep this story as cannon as I can, but here is where we have a few departures. The Wolves are different then SM wrote. I worked out that from 2003 when the Cullen’s arrived in Forks till Paul changes in ‘New Moon’ Sam was the only wolf to protect the tribe… meaning if the Cullen’s weren’t there to stop them; James, Victoria and Laurent could have wiped out the entire tribe, evolutionarily a major weakness. So I have written it that all tribe members carrying the Wolf gene phase somewhere between 14-18. 
> 
> How come Harry is old and Billy is in a wheelchair you may ask? Well without vampires around, other than tribal ceremonies there would be little need to phase, hence they age. Bill’s wheel chair will be described in an upcoming chapter of ‘Like a Wolf’s Cry in the distance’ (hint it’s not diabetes related). 
> 
> I have studied the customs of many indigenous people around the world and it is common for them to have knowledge passed down to members of their group at special times. When you reach maturity (usually when you hit puberty) when you become an elder, so on... The Wolf secret I am theorizing is told when tribe members become an adult i.e. puberty. Hope this doesn’t ruin it for anyone, the Wolves are still ancillary to the story, so if it does, just ignore that part, it’s not a huge part of the plot. Happy to answer questions on this.
> 
> Warning there is a sex scene mid-way through this in Calgary when Riley wakes up after the dinner, for those of a romantic inclination that don’t like the sweaty stuff read on till 9 paragraphs into JPOV…
> 
> The theme song to this chapter unfortunately wasn’t around in 2005, but I wanted something from the ‘spy thriller’ genre which sums up this chapter, I listened to every Bond sound track and chose Adele’s ‘Skyfall’ to sum it up (lyrics below), I’d suggest you listen to it before and after reading (link below)… also because I’m anal about these things I checked out what WOULD have been around in those days and the ‘Bourne Identity’ sound track works quite well too, in particular ‘Treadstone Assassins’ for the planning scenes, ‘Escape from the Embassy’ for the fight with James and Moby’s ‘Extreme Ways’ as an alternative theme. 
> 
> Also because I like it schmaltzy Bonnie Tyler’s ‘I need a Hero’ works for the fight scene… Links below.
> 
> “Skyfall”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HKoqNJtMTQ
> 
> “Treadstone Assassins”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYaso7QeXqU
> 
> “Escape from the Embassy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6wEZ-JT8hU
> 
> “Extreme Ways”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyt0ViDtJ_w
> 
> “I need a Hero”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY
> 
> So here we go, and hope you all enjoy; Merry Christmas!
> 
> Adele ‘Skyfall’
> 
> This is the end  
> Hold your breath and count to ten  
> Feel the earth move and then  
> Hear my heart burst again
> 
> For this is the end  
> I've drowned and dreamt this moment  
> So overdue I owe them  
> Swept away, I'm stolen
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together  
> At skyfall  
> At skyfall
> 
> Skyfall is where we start  
> A thousand miles and poles apart  
> Where worlds collide and days are dark  
> You may have my number, you can take my name  
> But you'll never have my heart
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together  
> At skyfall
> 
> Where you go I go  
> What you see I see  
> I know I'd never be me  
> Without the security  
> Of your loving arms  
> Keeping me from harm  
> Put your hand in my hand  
> And we'll stand
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> When it crumbles  
> We will stand tall  
> Face it all together  
> At skyfall
> 
> Let the sky fall  
> We will stand tall  
> At skyfall

Recap EPOV

We were nocked from our embrace almost literally by a knock on the door.

“What the Fuck! who visits us?” Said Emm going down stairs to investigate.

When the front door opened a familiar smell wafted in… Vampire. I kicked myself, I had been so caught up in the moment I hadn’t felt them at all.

Three vampires appeared from the stairwell. A white man wearing jeans and a suede bomber jacket, his long blond hair in a ponytail.  A muscular black man with a fine goatee beard, long dreadlocks and wearing jeans, a taupe jacket and white frilly silk scarf. And a red haired woman who looked like an escapee from a 70’s hippie commune with jeans and a fluffy sheep’s skin coat and no shoes.

“My name is Laurent,” the black one said, “And these are my companions Victoria and James…”

EPOV

There was silence in the room; Carlisle finally broke it… “Welcome to our house.” He said politely, though there was nothing polite about his thoughts. “I’m afraid your hunting activities have caused something of a mess for us.”

“Our apologies, we were just moving through the area. We will be leaving soon…” Laurent said.

“The humans were tracking us, but we led them east; they should be no problem to you.” Added Victoria.

It was like a chess game, each waiting for the others moves.  Fortunately, I could see everything.

Then James’s eyes descended onto Riley, lying prone on the couch in the most unvampiric way, his eye’s still red and puffy, his cheeks still damp… ‘there’s no way he’s not human’ James thought…

He immediately dropped to an attack crouch and hissed… “You brought a snack.”

I was immediately between James and Riley, my family gathered to form a protective semi-circle, there was no way he was getting anywhere near Riley.

“He’s with us…” said Carlisle calmly but firmly.

“We won't harm him.” said Laurent trying to defuse the situation

“Just try it.” said Emm eager to do battle.

“I think it’s best if you leave.” Said Carlisle in his best ‘doctor in control’ voice, calm but with the hint of ‘don’t mess with me’.

“Alright, we'll go now.” Said Laurent, he then placed a hand on James’s shoulder urging him. “James?” James eye balls me, he picks up on my protectivity toward Riley… Fuck, he’s a tracker… he has just found new prey... I might just have singed Riley’s death warrant.

James reluctantly agrees with Laurent, his mind running with scenarios about how he can get Riley away from us… and then, how he can separate us and pick us off one at a time…

They took a few steps back and then turned and left down the stairs, Emm prowled after them to make sure they had gone; Jasper, Rose and Alice formed a phalanx at the head of the stairs to let them know they were being watched as long as they were on our property.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, Emm finally returns from posting guard. Alice is watching out the window to observe their departure, and to make her physiological link with them so she can see their future.

“That was close…” Said Rose… “too close!”

“It’s not over… James is a tracker. I saw his mind…” I fumed ready to kick myself… “The hunt is his obsession, and my reaction to protect Riley set him off…”

Emm interrupted “Hey, we're a large coven of strong fighters all protecting one human… How can he do shit?”

“I just made this his most exciting game ever.” I seethed, “Don’t you see? It’s the very challenge that attracts him. He’s never going to stop!”

I turn to look at Riley… he is pale white… he knows the danger, he can read my body language so well, he sees for the first time since we’ve know each other I’m scared and that has set him off.

“What do we do now?” He asked nervously.

“We have to kill him, rip him apart and burn the pieces.” I said earnestly. I then bundle Riley up and begin carrying him to the stairs that lead down to the garage.

“Where are we going?” he asks concerned.

“Away from Forks. We’ll get the ferry to Vancouver…” I explain.

Riley’s takes this in… his brain wiring away too fast for me to read.  Then suddenly it all becomes clear, the fear for himself has disappeared, suddenly overwhelmed by fear for me, “Whoa Edward wait a minute.” He said.

“We’ll be fine once we get out of here.”

“No Edward! Put me down.” I ignore him.

He’s getting pissed and starts struggling. “Put me down Edward.”  His struggling is to no avail there is no way he can escape my grip.

“Edward put me down or so help me I’ll never forgive you...” He meant it… it stops me dead in my tracks. I reluctantly put him down at the head of the stairs.

“Are they out of earshot.” Riley asks me. I nod. “Good no sense broadcasting our strategy to the enemy.” Jasper smiles at this.

“We’re wasting time.” I say annoyed.

“Edward, calm down… take some deep breaths and count to ten.”

“What? Don’t you understand how much danger you are in…” I yell exasperated.

“I have a pretty good idea, which is why we shouldn’t panic and do the first thing that comes into our head…” I snorted at the inference that I was panicking… though he was right, I realize I was. “This tracker… his special power is tracking people…”

“Yes.” I say impatiently.

“So we run, he will find us… we give up our best strategic asset, seven against three and it’s just you protecting me…”

“It won’t be three, Laurent is a coward, he won’t participate till he knows who’s going to win… I can protect you.”

“Edward, it won’t work. Two against one… and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you…

“No we need to play this his way… we know his motivation… getting me. We need to lure him somewhere he will be off guard and then we ambush him and destroy him… seven against two, outcome is obvious.”

“We?” Emm asks amused.

“Yes… I’ll be the bait.” Riley said, my stomach does a summersault.

“NO!” I Yell.

“Edward, it’s the only way… But your right Emm, when it comes to the fight, other than being a distraction to him I’ll be of no use.” The thoughts that run through Riley’s head then, of hurting himself, opening up a vain to distract James at a crucial moment makes me sick to my stomach.

“It’s. Too. Dangerous.” I breathed. Doing my ‘menacing vampire thing’ as Riley likes to disparagingly call it… Riley comes over to me, looks me deep in the eyes, God I hate it when he does that; just looks into my soul. He rubs the back of his hand down my cheek, then kisses me gently. He doesn’t say a thing his eyes say it all. My plan is done for. He sees the moment I give in and smiles. Gives my cheek another gentle rub, thinking that he could never let me go one on one with another vampire, it was two risky. Though insulting to my fighting ability it is thought with such love I can’t help but be moved by it.

Then his strategic brain takes over, he’s like a different person, he pirouettes in his place and looks at Jasper, knowing he’s the one with the experience of fighting and hunting vampires. “How am I doing so far?”

“Can’t see any faults in your logic Captain.” He said with a smile. Ever since it became known that Riley liked Star Trek everyone occasionally good naturedly teased him about it. Jaz was trying to calm things a little.

Riley then looks back to me “Right so, what’s the first thing James is going to do?”

“He’s going to trace your scent back to where you live.” I said.

“Fuck Mum!” He said worried. I marveled at him, less than an hour ago he hated her and never wanted to see her again for throwing him out, now he was thinking how to protect her. “We need to organize a protection detail for my Mum… if he gets her he’s got me.”

“We can organize that, no probs.” Said Emm.

“Wait no... that’s his game… divide and conquer, split our forces… No... we need back up. I’ll call Jacob.” Riley said, there is a deathly silence for a few seconds… I couldn’t believe what he was just suggesting… Emm finally gave voice to my thoughts.

“Hey… No need to bring the mutts in, we can handle this!” Emm was seriously insulted.

“No one is saying that you can’t… it just makes sense that we maximize our resources. This is what the treaty with the wolves was all about. They are there to protect the people of Forks… let them. On top of that Mum hates you guy’s, if she sees you outside her house she’ll call the Chief and have you arrested. Also...” Riley turned back to me. “Do they know about the wolves?” he asked.

“No.” I said not knowing where he was going with this.

“I thought not, they wouldn’t be ambling around their territory if they did... James will not suspect we are onto him if he see’s humans hanging around another human’s house. He has no idea of Mum’s habits. He’ll think their presence is normal.”

“But if the wolves haven’t shifted they’ll be no use.” Said Jasper.

“It doesn’t take long for them to shift, and I doubt if James will try something with witnesses... don’t think it’s his style am I right?” Riley asked me.

“Yes, he exists in the shadows, it’s the way his mind works.”

“So, Jaz, what do you think of my strategy?” Riley asked knowing the answer.

“I can’t fault it… as much as it goes against the grain to rely on the wolves; but I have had to fight our kind before, we’re hard to kill.”

“But not impossible.” Said Emm.

“Yes, but Riley is right. We shouldn’t take risks, not with Riley’s life, not just for ego...” Before Emm could rebut this Riley interrupted...

“Were wasting time, Mum is in danger, we need a decision now.” How a 17-year-old mortal could take charge so easily of seven immortals surprised me, he had a natural ability to lead I guess.

Carlisle spoke. “Riley is right. The lives of everyone in this room are precious to me, we shouldn’t take risks with them. Call Jacob.” Everyone protested in their mind, but once Carlisle had spoken they thought against it.

Riley dialed Jacob’s number, it was answered after the second ring.

“Hey Riley, heard you were out of Hospital, how you doing?” said the cheerful voice from the other end.

“Not great Jake… it’s a long story, but there a three rouge vampires in town, they are after me…”

“What?” said Jake nearly coming through the phone.

“I’ll explain why later, I’m at the Cullen’s, they are protecting me, but the vampires may track my smell back home… can you guy’s form a protection detail there ASAP?”

“Sure thing… I’m surprised those leeches you’re with allowed you to call me.”

He lied “No, their cool with it. They know the best way to keep me safe is to use the treaty. I take it you guys are up for it…”

“You bet; those leeches show up and their toast.” Said Jake...

“On that point, can I suggest that you guys do it unphased… Mum’s pretty perceptive… she likes dog’s but I think she might freak out if one the size of a horse is in her yard.” Riley knew not to mention the real reason; that the Cullen’s were hunting James and didn’t want him tipped off; this would be an insult to the wolves ability to kill vampires… He could manipulate people frighteningly well when he wanted to could Riley.

“Good point, I’ll suggest it to Michael Clearwater…”

“Thanks…”

“You hold in there… if you need help, treaty or no, I’ll come.” Riley smiled at this, thinking ‘Jake hadn’t made the change yet, a 15-year-old kid vs seven vampires… crazy brave, but that was Jake.’ I still was jealous of their friendship, but we had more on our minds to deal with now, and after what I did to Riley with Bella I’m the last to criticize him having a friend.

“Thanks… Tell the guys to take care…” Riley said.

“Will do… you to.” And Jake hung up.

“Thanks you guy’s, I know that wasn’t easy for you… I owe you big time.” Riley always could mollify us. “So strategy…” Riley stood looking into space for a few seconds thinking. A smile came over his face. “He will work it out… he will try and separate me from you guy’s…. we play along. Find out where it is. You guy’s lay in wait. I appear to go in alone. Bang you jump him…Jaz, work?” said Riley in the verbal shorthand he used with Jaz when they were plotting a battle.

“Should.” Replies Jaz

“What?  We just sit around and wait for him to make a move?” said Emm exasperated.

“Mmmm, your right.  Good thinking Buff!  That may get his suspicions up… we should panic…” Everyone looked surprised at this. “I mean, we should make it look like we are panicking… take Edward’s plan and run with it, but with a bit of a safety margin… I go with a couple of you to somewhere you know… any more than two and James will be suspicious. Some place built up… Calgary maybe. When James follows the rest of you come, we trap him in a place you know well, the university maybe, and finish him off...”

All I wanted to do is get Riley away from here, nowhere near James… I thought I might be able to play along and get Riley out by subterfuge “Why don’t we play a double bluff, Riley you go with Jasper and me to Calgary, the rest of you lead him away from here. Hopefully you’ll will be able to catch him and kill him here away from Riley.” Said Edward.

Carlisle then blew my plan to pieces “No Edward. James knows you would never leave Riley, he’ll follow you.” Damn, thanks Carlisle… “Jasper and Alice should head north; you stay to confuse him.” Said Carlisle.

“Ok, I’m sure he will do something to change our plans but we’ll go with it.” Said Riley. He then took a deep breath. He didn’t want to say what he was just about to…

“Edward… at the hospital, when you said that your Magnum Opus will only occur the day that we start to spend forever with each other… Ummm… have you changed your mind about changing me? … Because that would solve all our problems right now.”

It hit me like a blow to my stomach. The idea of turning him into one of us was repellant to me… to take away all that was soft and good about him… “NO.” I said.

“So we still are planning for me to live out my life and then you change me when I’m dying of natural causes or if I have an accident or something.”

“Yes… why are you having second thoughts?”

“No… well not for myself… I have a lot of things I want to do before I become one of you… but it would solve our problem.”

“That’s like shooting your foot off to get rid of a splinter in your toe.” Said Rose.

“I think James is a bit more serious than a splinter…” Riley quipped. “But I thought I should offer it. It’s not fair of me to expect you guys to risk your lives to save me, when giving up my plans and become one of you will solve it.”

“We don’t mind… and that is a decision not to be rushed into.” Said Carlisle. “Do we all agree.” Everyone nodded.

“Thanks” said Riley… “Umm on that subject… you guys never aged after you were changed, but you were all really young when it happened, what if I’m 80… will I spend eternity a wrinkled fossil?”

Carlisle smiled at this “I don’t think so… it is very rare for elderly people to be changed… usually it is a young good looking person who is to become the mate of the vampire that changes them. But there have been one or two that I know of; people in let’s say ‘advanced’ middle age, who for whatever reason, have been changed. They revert to the state when their body reached absolute physical maturity which for a man is about 30-5. That is when your musculature is completely developed.”

“Good, I don’t want to spend eternity playing Edward’s grandpa.  30… means I won’t be able to have the “joy” of being a perennial school student. Guess I’ll be Carlisle’s step brother or something. Completely developed musculature? Does that mean I’ll be as buff as Emm?”

“I doubt it; the vampire venom just enhances what you have. Emm was a woodsman, he was very muscular as a human, if you are 80 I doubt you will have the same… definition.” Carlisle said with a smile.

“And I guess I won’t be any taller either.”

“No, your height doesn’t change…”

“Shame, would have been nice to have looked like a giant beef cake. Guess I’ll have to make do with mediocrity for eternity…”

“You look fine to me.” Jasper chimed in, a little too enthusiastically and Alice elbowed him in the stomach; hard.

“With everything that’s going on and your worried about this?” asked Rose incredulously.

“Yeah, your right, sorry… So let’s get this plan under way… first a map of the University so we can plan where to rendezvous.”

Riley and Jasper walked over to the widescreen TV, which was connected to the internet.  He brought up Google earth and zoomed in on the University of Calgary. There began a discussion about the strategic merit of each building, it was finally decided the Taylor Institute for Teaching & Learning was the best. An isolated building completely surrounded by other buildings, with no easy escape route…

They also checked the security of the attached Hotel Alma, just in case James somehow surprises them… It was surrounded by buildings and had only one rout of escape.

It was decided. While Riley got a few things to make the trip more comfortable, I pack at Vampire speed some clothes for Riley that he leaves in my room for when he stays over.  We then headed down to the garage. Jaz climbed in the driver seat of Carlisle black Mercedes saloon, Alice in the front passenger seat.

I toss Carlisle and (knowing Emm would never fit into it) Rose two Jackets that Riley has left behind here over the course of the months.

“Carlisle, Rose, put these on so the tracker will pick up on Riley’s scent.” I explained.

“Good idea.” Said Carlisle.

“Anything to help…”  says Rose... I’m still amazed at the change in her since Riley has been around… They then went and climbed into Emm’s Jeep, Emm behind the wheel of his baby.

I follow Riley over to Carlisle’s car, he turns before entering the car. He was nervous not only for himself, but for me…

“Promise me one thing…” he said. I already knew what it was. “Don’t try and be a hero… you’re the fastest, but keep pace with the others if you spot James… don’t engage him yourself…”

I took a deep breath… I didn’t know if I could promise that.

“Promise, or I’m not leaving.” Said Riley. Damn, he always knew my motivations.

“I promise.” I said reluctantly. He kissed me passionately on the lips, it tasted like a goodbye kiss though we both hoped with all our hearts it wasn’t.

He then reluctantly climbs into the car. We exchange a pained look and then Jaz and Emm hits the gas and both cars are gone… my heart nearly breaks again.

JPOV

We were speeding away from Forks to Calgary University, one of my Alma Maters. It had been decided that Alice and I take Riley there for safety while the others try and divert the tracker and kill him… good luck.

I worried why Carlisle picked us… was it just that we are a couple? Was it because with Edward staying back, Riley’s protection detail would need one clairvoyant? I hoped it wasn’t because Carlisle knew about my weakness for Riley and wanted the three of us to sort it out. It would be typical of Carlisle to make use of such a situation, but surely he sees that things are too dangerous for Riley to try such an experiment.

It made me start thinking; I was never more in love with Riley then I was today… fresh from having his heart broken by his mother, he still looked after her safety.  He had been scared by the danger he was in; which was natural, but that had only lasted a few moments.  Then he immediately changed to concern for our safety and how we can succeed in our mission… All the games we played, and debates we had, suddenly seemed to coalesce in his mind and he poured forth superior strategies than we, much older and more experienced, could come up with. He was a genius.

I so wanted to kiss him, both when he was hurting so bad, and when he made me so proud to know him.

I gave a guilty glance at Alice sitting next to me in the front passenger seat.  I owed her so much, she had saved me in so many ways… she not only had earned, but deserved my loyalty and faithfulness… I could never hurt her. But I wished… I wished so hard I could have Riley.

Alice loved me dearly; yes, she had become jealous of the time I spent with Riley, and I think she knew my feelings, who knows what visions she has seen about us and not told me… But she did love me deeply and probably might have come to accept a shared arrangement; But there was Edward… He didn’t deserve Riley after what he did, but Riley loved him more than he loved me… That was a fact I could not ignore. And Edward was obsessively monogamous in his views… there would be no sharing Riley. I can remember his furry when he found out that, after he refused to consummate their relationship, Riley turned to the wolf kids for his physical needs. No Edward would never listen.

And I knew Riley would choose Edward; if I tried anything I could end up losing everything and breaking my heart to boot.

I sighed. It seemed hopeless… I had finally found my soulmate, the person who completed me intellectually and I could never be with him, not completely. I sighed again.

But who knows, eternity is a long time. Maybe after a century or so Edward might mellow? And it would be safer for Riley if he was immortal before we enjoined… I had nothing but time on my hands to wait and find out.

I tried to tear myself from my depressive thoughts. I turned my senses to Riley.  He was scared for himself, that was natural… But his overriding worry was for Edward, that he’d do something rash and get himself killed.

“Hey.” I said looking in the rear view mirror at Riley who sat silently looking out the window at the trees scudding by.

“Hey.” He said quietly.

I flashed him a smile, dimples and all… just how I know he likes it… “Stop worrying… I have fought many vampires in my life… Edward is one of the most skilled fighters I know… what he lacks in strength he makes up for in speed and his ability to read people’s thoughts… he’s a match for just about any vampire.” I said trying to make Riley feel better. He looked at me. There was no expression on his face which seemed to have lost all its color and was sad and grey.

“He promised you he won’t do anything stupid… Edward never breaks his promises; he’ll work with the others… he won’t get hurt.” This seemed to calm Riley a bit. I sent a wave of calm towards him. He smiled.

“Thanks.” He said. “Alice, can you see anything yet?” he asked

“No, James hasn’t made up his mind yet, until he does there are hundreds of different scenarios, none more prominent then another.” She replied.

“Does anyone get hurt in any of them?” Riley asked concerned.

“You know I’m not going to answer that.” Alice said annoyed.

“Yeah, sorry.” Said Riley. I shot him another wave of calm and a bit of happiness. He smiles at me again.

“Ok, enough with the somber.” Riley said. “Were on a road trip… and I brought provisions.” He withdrew a stack of cd’s from his bag.

I smiled disbelievingly. “You packed music?”

“Hey a road trip needs both a soundtrack and a singalong… its the law.” He said with a smile.

I really loved him… he was such a one off. He was under threat of death, his mate could be killed trying to save him and he thought to pack music to keep our spirits up…

“Brilliant…” squealed Alice… “What have we got?”

First up, this is a track I made for Edward and I when we go for a road trip on summer vacation… I’m sure he won’t mind us giving it a trial run.

“What’s on it?’ I asked curious.

“I just pulled these randomly, I’ll still need to work out the order… you two can help… We have…

‘The distance’ by Cake.

‘Hit the road Jack’ by Ray Charles.

‘King of the road’ by Roger Miller,

‘Fast car’ by Tracy Chapman.

‘The Two of Us’ by the Beatles.

‘California’ by Phantom Planet.

‘Life is a highway’ by Tom Cochrane.

‘Born to be wild’ by Steppenwolf.

‘On the road again’ by Willie Nelson.

“I’ve been everywhere man” by Johnny Cash and the Australian version by Lucky Star.

‘Route 66’ by Chuck Berry.

‘America’ Simon and Garfunkel.

‘Where the streets have no name’ by U2.

‘Born to run’ by Bruce Springsteen.

‘Only 24 hours from Tulsa’ by Gene Pitney.

‘I get around’ by the Beach Boys.

And just for you Alice ‘Blue Skies’ sung by none other than Brent Spiner…”

“Oh My god… that is so great!” she replied.

“That’s quite a mix.” I replied.

“Want to give it a go?” asked Riley wiggling his eyebrows in the most adorable manner.

“Sure…” I said and he handed the CD to Alice who put it in the perfectly calibrated sound system of Carlisle’s that had played little other than classical music… I’m not sure if it will ever be the same again…

After we had sung ourselves nearly hoarse to the CD, Riley tried to sleep but couldn’t, so we both tried to keep up his spirits with several other Cd’s, where we sang like mad and had a ball… We pulled up to the hotel Alma at the University at 10:30 on Tuesday morning, still singing, everyone looking at us like we were crazy...  Riley had cheered us up no end.

We checked in and carried our bags up to the room and got ready to wait.

“Do either of you need to hunt?” asked Riley as he fixed himself a cup of coffee. He was still thinking of us at a time like this?

“Not really, were good.” Said Alice.

“Great, because I was thinking if you needed to it might be safest to take turns now before James knows where I am… he and Victoria may plan to wait us out till Jaz is out hunting then strike.” I felt sick at the thought, but It was a clever plan. Alice was a good fighter, her gift meant she was extremely unpredictable… but one against two with James and Victoria all the while trying to protect Riley, I didn’t want to risk it.

“Good thinking… Alice, can you tell where James is?” I asked.

“He’s still in Forks, he’s following the scent trail that Carlisle and Rose is laying.” Alice said.

“Victoria?”

“She’s still in Forks too. She’s waiting for the school to finish so she can check up Riley’s records for James.”

“Right… I’ll go hunting now... I won’t be gone more than an hour… When I get back you should go Alice… this might be a long haul…” I paused. “Riley, you really should try and get some sleep… this is going to be tough and you will need to be rested to help me strategize.”

He nodded, putting the coffee mug down and headed to bed. I looked at Alice “If you see anything call me...”

She nodded at me and I headed off to the nearest National Park where I used to hunt when we studied here.

RPOV

It took me awhile to get to sleep, my mind was running so fast, but finally I dozed off and slept for 10 hours straight… After the fight with Mum; God I can’t believe that was only yesterday, it seems like a week ago; then the vampire thing and the long drive I didn’t realize I was so exhausted…

After I relieved my bladder in the ensuite I walked out into the communal lounge of the suit we had. Alice and Jasper were siting hand in hand talking in a voice so low only vampires could hear. They herd me enter.

“Glad to see your up… feel better.” Alice chirped.

“Much, thanks, I didn’t realize how tired I was.” I said.

Jasper got up from the seat. “Hungry?” he asked.

“Yes, famished.” I relied.

He went to the kitchenette to the stove where a pot was simmering, it smelt delicious… of course he need no oven gloves. That used to freak me out once, but now I take it in my stride… I just have to remember that I’m not a vampire and don’t go picking it up after he puts it down. I’ve done that before. Funny for once as a floor show, but not too often.

“You cooked something?” I asked.

“There was nothing homely on the menu and you’ve eaten nothing but fast food since we left Forks.” Alice said.

“It’s not up to Esme’s standards, but it’s wholesome.” Said Jasper modestly.

He placed It down on the dining table which was already laid. He removed the lid to reveal his famous texmex chili that he learnt when he was in the confederate army. I thought ‘chili for breakfast?’ Then I saw it was dark out and it was actually dinner. I would have to get my hours re-adjusted.

“Thanks’ Jaz, you’re a mind reader…” Our little joke… “I haven’t had your chili for ages.”

“That’s why I thought I should make it.” He said with a smile, dimples and all… God!

We all sit. Jaz serves me a giant portion of his steaming chili and Alice brings some corn bread over… I feel a little guilty eating in front of them as I always do. But I’m hungry and wolf it down. Jasper smiled at my obvious enjoyment of his cooking skills.

“How was your hunt?” I ask in between mouthfuls.

“Uneventful…” Alice said.

“Likewise.” Added Jasper. They both know I didn’t want the gory details. That I only asked because I felt guilty about eating in front of them.

“I’m glad.” I added. “Anything on the tracker Alice?”

“No, the guys are doing a good job of misdirecting him… There planning an ambush tonight.” I dropped my fork.

“It’s ok… I can see it… no one gets hurt, James escapes before they tighten the net.”

I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Thank God…” I say. Alice looks puzzled at this then she understands.

I finish my meal and we try and watch some TV but our minds really aren’t in it. Jaz then suggest I get some more rest to try and straighten my circadian rhythms… not much use having jet lag at a time like this… I also have the feeling he is trying to keep his distance from me… I understand why.

I agree and head to bed. Jaz does his mind projection thing making me feel peaceful and tired. It works…

The next thing I know it’s 7 in the morning. I awoke from an erotic dream, disturbingly of me and Jaz, I hope that he hadn’t placed it there. But I think that’s beyond his powers and I also doubt if he would be that underhand. I get up and go and see if everything is alright. I wander through the deserted lounge scratching my head in a stupor, not realizing that their absence is significant. I hear a noise coming from their bedroom, and on auto pilot knowing they never sleep I go in to ask them what’s up. The sight that met me certainly woke me up…

Alice was on her knees on the bed, one hand gripping the foot board of the bed, the other at her groin… naked… Behind her was a naked Jasper holding her hips and thrusting into her madly… they were trying to do their best to keep the noise down. Jasper has his eyes closed for some reason too.

I stand their frozen for a few seconds. My mind telling me to get the hell out of there before I’m noticed but my body frozen to the spot… Then fuck it’s too late, Alice gyrating her head wildly turns to face the door and freezes. Jaz must have felt her panic and opens his eyes. Recognizing the situation, he immediately pulls out of Alice and to my horror… without any stimulation blows his load from his large thick hard banana shaped member, I’d say seven long by six-inch girth, all over her. I can’t believe I mentally measured his dick at a time like this!

“Riley.” He exclaims, half shocked and half blissed out.

“Fuck I’m sorry.” I yell and make a quick retreat.

There is the sound of clothes being put on rapidly and Jasper comes out first in his boxers.

“Riley…” he says.

“I am so sorry Jaz… that was so rude of me… I should have knocked… I can’t believe I just did that… will you forgive me... please.” I blabber, I must be bright red by now. The image of Jasper naked and ejaculating from his beautiful cock runs through my head, no doubt prompted by his half naked proximity.

“It’s ok…” says Jasper trying to calm me down. “It’s our fault... we should have waited. Or at least locked the door, I didn’t think you would wake this early... and well, we both were distracted.” He said with a sly grin.

“No, it’s your bedroom… I would never have done that in Forks... it was unforgivably rude.”

“Riley, as Emm would say… Chill. I hope you enjoyed the show.” He added.  He was now uncomfortably close to me… not unusually close but after what I just saw…

He looked worried, picking up my vibes. “Will this change the way you feel about me… I mean us.” He said concern written all over his face.

“No, of course not… your married. It’s normal. I’m sorry I’m a third wheel. I hate cock blockers.”

By now Alice had cleaned herself and come out to join us.

“Riley, you ok?”

“Yeah… Alice, I’d like to apologize for that… it was so.” I babbled

Alice raised her hand. “No harm done.”

I saw Jasper mouth “sorry” to her and she mouthed something back, no doubt it was said in a pitch below my hearing.

He then turned his gaze to me. I couldn’t help noticing his defined musculature, his amazing Pec’s, his abs… I shook my head, thoughts like that were not helping.

Japer picked up on my mood. I started to feel an irresistible urge to kiss him… to run my hands over his body, to give in to what I knew we both wanted… Wait a minute? “Jasper stop it.” I yelled.

He was right in front of me know. I could feel his cold breath on my face. “You know you want it as much as I do.” Her purred in a silky voice, his Texan ascent erotic as hell. The chill coming off his exposed skin. How I so wanted to… “Jasper… Please stop… it can’t happen. No.”

Alice picked up my stress. “Jasper what are you doing? ... Leave him alone!” She squealed. This seemed to register. I suddenly felt like normal… which was bad enough with a half-naked Jasper standing so close to me.

“Sorry.” he said miserably. Then about faced and ran out the door.

“Jasper!” I yelled after him not knowing what else to do. This was all my fault.

I turned to see a more than curious Alice looking at me head cocked. This was going to be one of the most difficult discussions of my life.

JPOV

I sat in the stairwell in my boxers. I can’t believe what I had just done… I can’t believe what I had twice done… What came over me. Me the normally disciplined member of the family… I tried to rape Riley…  how will he ever forgive me… I ruined it.

It all started when I was sitting with Alice while Riley slept. He must have been having an amorous dream, about whom I could not tell, but the waves of desire and lust that were coming from his mind made something snap in me… I sent a supercharge of lust towards Alice. It had the desired outcome. Faster than the human eye could have seen we were in the bedroom naked.

Normally this the would have been part of a long seduction. I always put my lover’s needs first. But now I don’t know what came over me I just wanted the act. I pushed her onto all fours on the bed and spat venom on my endowment to lubricate it, then rammed it into Alice’s tight rump… to her squeal of surprise.

Alice was quite adventurous in our sexual relationship and we had had anal sex before. But always as part of our usual love making. This time I just wanted it. I wanted to pretend it was Riley... I closed my eyes and grabbed hold of her hips, slamming in ferociously. She was startled by my ferocity but didn’t complain. Using her hand to satisfy herself. Meanwhile I pretended the cold skin I touched was warm, that the round hips were square. I imagined it was Riley…

Then I felt a wave of panic come from Alice... I opened my eyes hoping that in my rough ministrations I had not hurt her. I was confronted by the sight of Riley standing in the door.

I didn’t know what to do. I withdrew from Alice, but I was close to climax and the sight of Riley, and the mental arousement he had from seeing me naked pushed me over the edge and to my shame I came all over Alice.

Riley fled the room in embarrassment and all I could think of doing was apologizing for making love to my wife when it should have ben him…

I pulled on shorts and fled after him, insultingly leaving Alice to clean herself and dress. I am so ashamed of that… I have no idea how I can apologize enough to her for it.

I ran after Riley apologizing. Alice soon joined us, I half-heartedly apologize to her, but my mind wasn’t in it. My mind was on Riley, and the waves of arousal that were seeping out of him seeing me standing before him half naked…

Then to my eternal shame, something snapped again… and I acted. I did what I swore I never would do. I used my powers to try and seduce someone against their will. And not just anyone. The man I loved. My best friend in all the world. My soulmate. I sent wave after wave of lust to him. Trying to make him make the first move. I forgot Alice was even there. I wanted him to touch me. To kiss me. For once he started it, I would finish it... I would carry him to bed and make love to him like I had dreamed of doing for over a year now.

But Riley is a far better man then I’ll ever be. He knew that this would end in ruin and he resisted… but I kept pushing. Forcing him to touch me. It was only Alice’s’ staccato voice that broke through to me and I fled from the room in shame. I wanted to head for the hills, find a cave somewhere and disappear… but I knew they depended on me. We had bigger threats to face. But I still needed time to pull myself together. So I fled to the fire stairs where I am now. Head in my hands sobbing at my stupidity.

I have hurt the only two people I have ever loved… I have destroyed that love. I am nothing…

Time had no meaning. I knew if Alice saw anything she would find me. My scent trail would still be fresh.  And my boxers were damp with seamen leakage, even a human could smell them.

I had no idea how long I had been siting there when I realized I was no longer alone.

A warm hand was placed on my shoulder. A familiar soft voice spoke in my ear.

“I’m sorry Jaz… this is all my fault. Please come back. I promise to be more careful in future.” Riley had a good heart but he had completely missed the point.

“It’s not your fault.” I manage to mumble… “You did nothing. It’s me… I can’t control my feelings. I have ruined everything.”

“No you haven’t.” he said sternly. “Jaz I still love you. Your still my best friend. Alice still loves you. She’s confused but we talked and she understands now. She knows you can’t help who you fall in love with. Please come back… we need you.”

“You do?” I could not believe my ears.

“Yes… It was stupid of me to have agreed for you to go on this mission… I should have suggested Emm. It’s not fair you being in such proximity with me with only Alice… I’m sorry. I should have seen the strain I have placed on you…. We can call Emm, he’ll be happy to come and replace you.”

The idea of me cutting and running because I for the first time in my life could not control my emotions was anathema to me. It sobered me up immediately. “No.” I said Firmly. “I can handle this. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure… if you’d rather…”

“NO… I will complete my mission.” I interrupted him. He squeezed my shoulder and got up, offering me his oh so warm hand to unnecessarily assist my rise. But it was also a gesture of friendship. I took it as that and placed my cold hand in his. A shot of electricity ran through my arm and it was all I could do to restrain myself from pining him to the concrete wall and having my way with him.

“Will you ever forgive me.” I said a wave of guilt sweeping over me.

“For what.”

“I… I used my powers… I tried to rape you Riley… how can you ever…” I felt a sob wrack my body and Riley placed his arms around me. Holding me tightly when I thought I would crumple again. Soothing me as only he could.

“No. You. Didn’t.” he said clearly. “You tried to seduce me, and that is a very different thing… You were reacting to my thoughts… if I was not interested you never would have…” I couldn’t believe he blamed himself. God what did I do!

“No Riley, what I did was wrong. If Alice wasn’t there… You can’t just wave it away.  It was an abuse of everything we had.”

“Jaz… right now we have bigger problems… When this is over, assuming that we all make it through, we will sit down and talk about it.  OK?”

Only 17 and he was wiser than me at 165. “OK.” I said and we walked up to the suit where Alice sat with a devious grin on her face…

“So you and Riley, Hu?” she said.

I couldn’t meet her gaze. I just nodded.

“We’ll I have to admit you have great taste,” she said… “First me, then Riley… I can’t fault it.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Only that you kept it from me… how long have you felt like this?”

“Over a year.” I said ashamed.

“Oh Jaz… Riley is my best friend… I’m madly in love with him too… if he were straight you’d be in real trouble…” I looked at her disbelievingly.

“When this is over we will talk, the tree of us and then we will talk to Edward… he must already know… we need to work something out.”

“Easier said than done with Edward.”

“We’ll see.” She said cryptically… then suddenly she took a deep breath, her eyes glazed over… I knew the unmistakable signs… she was having a vision. I raced to her side soon followed by Riley.

“What do you see?” asked Riley. It’s amazing, from the first time Alice had one of her visions he wasn’t the slightest creeped out or concerned, once he knew she was alright he took it in his stride. I think he would accept a little green man from mars smoking a cheroot and drinking Bacardi and lime in a golf cart.

“The tracker… he just changed course.” Alice gasped.

“Where will it take him, Alice?” I said

“A cross, a room with a cross.”

I hand Alice a pad and pencil and she begins sketching. A large room with an arched roof and… organ pipes?

“A church?” Riley askes.

“Do you recognize it?” I query.

“Let me see, it’s look familiar…” Riley looks more closely. “Wait, Mum and I went to an organ recital here once… it’s in Seattle… St? St? James’s I think… Ironical…”

Riley’s phone rings, he pulls it out of his pocket, looks to see who it is, smiles and answers… “Hey Edward, you’d never guess what...”

Edward interrupts. “We’ve lost the tracker. The woman’s still in the area. I’m coming to get you. And you and I are gonna go somewhere alone. And the others will keep hunting. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again.”

“Edward… we have been through this. It’s not happening. Alice has seen where James is going. He’s headed to St. James’ Church, Seattle. We can trap him there... Just stay put. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“Riley.”

“No Edward, we are not splitting up the group to make it easier for him. He’ll no doubt contact me and try and lure me to him. I’ll go, you all follow. We get the bastard. Stick with the plan.”

“But.”

“No… I love you Edward, but NO. I’ll see you in 14 hours. If you want to do something, come up and intercept us. The larger my escort the safer I’ll feel.”

“Ok… I love you.”

“I love you too.”

As they spoke I had put on some clothes and gathered our bags… we were ready to go.

“Wait, plug in the laptop… I want to check I have the right church; it was over a year ago.” Said Riley.

I comply and pull my laptop out of my bag and attach it to the phone line. I bring up the internet and type St James Seattle. Up comes several pages on it. I hit Wikipedia and scroll down for an internal photo. There it is, carbon copy of what Alice drew. “We’ve got our location.” I say.

“That’s brilliant, as far as I can remember, it’s surrounded by buildings, plenty of places you guys can hide. Also all those pews will give me some cover when things turn nasty.” Riley adds.

I turn off and unplug my computer. Putting it away. As we are getting ready to leave Riley adds “Make sure you bring that left over chili; there’s no way I’m not eating that on the drive…” he said with a smile. He always had a way to defuse a situation.

We went down to reception to check out. Alice helped Riley load the few bags in the car. After they had finished they came back to join me as we waited for the hotel staff to finish stuffing around and calculate the bill. I felt like putting a couple of hundred dollars on the counter and leaving. Then Riley’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the number, a puzzled expression came across his face. He gesticulated for us to listen in.

“Mum?” he said warily.

His mother’s voice came over the phone. “Riley, Riley, Riley? Where are you?”

“Mum, Calm down. Everything’s fine.”

His mother again was angrily talking on the phone, though strangely saying just the same words. “Riley, Riley, Riley?” then there was RUSTLING on the line, as if Mrs Biers had dropped the phone.

“Mum, are you ok?” Riley said.

Suddenly his mother’s voice was gone and the sinister voice of the tracker came on “Forks High School doesn’t protect its students’ privacy very well.  You know it’s just too easy for Victoria to find your address. It’s a quaint house you have here. I was prepared to wait for you. Then Mom came home… and it all worked out quite well. Hmmm.”

Riley was sending out waves of fear and confusion, his mind was working over time. A dozen different emotions flashed though his head.

Mrs Biers was back on the phone “Riley, Riley.”

Riley Yelled. “Leave her alone… you want me not her.”

“You're protective of her. That's nice. You can still save her. But you'll need to get away from your friends. Can you do that?”

“I’ don’t know, I guess so… how can I trust you?”

“Your mother’s life depends on it.”

“Where should I meet you?”

“How about St. James’ Church, Seattle, seems appropriate doesn’t it? I hear the Cullen’s are very religious… they wouldn’t be game to go onto consecrated land… And I’ll know if you bring anyone along. Poor Mom will pay the price for that mistake.” The line goes dead.

“You got that?” Riley ask us. We nod. He the calls Jake. “Jake… how’s the ops on Mum’s place, whose there.”

“Hey Mark, nice talking with you, I’m fine, how are you...”

“Sorry Jake, I don’t have time for niceties… I got a call from one of the vampires saying he’s got mum… I need to know now!” there was no nonsense in Riley’s voice.

“Wait a minute.” There was the muffled sound of Jake talking with someone, his father probably. Then his father talking to someone. Finally, Jake got back on the phone. Norah, Connie and Emmi are there; the male vampire was hanging around they chased him off but lost him… their looking at your mother now... she’s fine.” Riley let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks Jake... you’re a legend… when this is over, I’m having a cook out just for you guy’s…”

“Will the leaches be invited?”

“No, this will be just for you guy’s to show my appreciation.”

“It’s noting… and we’ll all be there so better start stocking up.”

“Will do… thanks again.” Riley hung up the phone.

“Thanks.” Said Alice slightly miffed at the rebuff.

“Sorry, it’s just you guys don’t eat, and well, there not as reasonable as you are…” Riley again always knew what to say.

“That’s true.”

“But to thank you Alice… when this is over, a whole day in Seattle shopping… and you can buy me what you want…” Riley gave her a killer smile. She squealed and started bouncing, already thinking about what shops she would go to. I shook my head. Riley sure could organise people.

“Oh and Jaz, maybe after that, we could start on that reconstruction of the Alamo you were talking about the other day. Also give us a chance to talk things over.”

I was over the moon about it… but all I allowed myself to say was. “I’d like that.” I was still on guard after this morning’s activities.

We climbed in the car and sped off. Riley fishing out more road trip music to keep us entertained.

EPOV

I rendezvoused with them near a Canadian town called Kamloops which is a bit over half way to Calgary. Riley farewells his previous escorts and I am at his side as he climbs out. I hug him tightly. I never want to let him go again.

“I love you.” Riley said.

“I love you to.” I reply. Hand in hand we go back to my silver Volvo, he climbs in the passenger side. I shut his door, then blur round to the driver side and get in. We sped off with Jasper and Alice in pursuit.

Riley looks in the rear-view mirror at the car following us.

“That is going to be an interesting conversation.” Rile says. What flashed through his mind nearly makes me crash the car.

“What?” I say incredulously.

“Well…”

“I know, and I got what you thought… Jasper tried to what?”

“Whoa! Hang on… nothing happened. And I think you are the last person to be jealous right now…” Riley said harshly. It’s like a slap across my face. Riley might have forgiven me, but he hasn’t forgotten… he remembers everything. He sees my reaction. “Sorry… but... let’s just take care of the tracker first. Then we can sit down and talk about it like mature adults. We all love each other, let’s just keep that in mind.”

I nod, it’s the most I can manage.

“So, were heading back to your place… I’ll debrief everyone as fast as I can, we work out where you guys will situate yourself and I’ll drive myself to the Church.”

“No.”

“Edward, It’s the only way he won’t get suspicious.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I, but it’s all we have. Let’s make it work.”

I humph and the rest of the trip we sit in silence.

….

When we get back to our house, Riley debriefs them on what has happened. They call up google earth on the big screen TV and plot which buildings each of us should be stationed on. Riley suggests we should park at union square which is only a short run from the Cathedral but well out of site. To use back streets to get to the vantage points and completely surround the building. He also suggests we use text messages to communicate so as not to be heard.

I am not happy in the least… this is too dangerous for him.  We should just get away; I am sure I can keep Riley away from James.

“Ok, so it’s decided. You all are in position by 12am. That’s when I pull up and go inside. As soon as you hear me talking to James you come and jump him.” Says Riley. I can’t take it any longer.

“It’s too dangerous… it would only take him a second to kill you.” I say, trying to frighten Riley into seeing sense... I should have known that wouldn’t work.

“No…” Riley says firmly, “He won’t do that… Don’t you see? His whole raison d`etre is leading up to this; he’s not going to rush it… he’s going to torture me.” I feel sick. “Make it obvious, so when you see my mutilated corpse you will try and avenge me and then he has another game on.” The image of Riley’s crumpled bloodless body swims through my head, I can’t believe we are doing this… “He’s not going to miss all that just to kill me quick… that’s his weakness.” Said Riley with a devious smile. “Isn’t it?” he asks me.

I take a few moments to pull myself together to answer. “Yes… But…” I don’t get to finish my statement as Riley’s lips are on mine… I hate it when he does that, mainly because it always works.

When we part he says gently. “Edward, I have no desire to miss out on eternity with you… but I also don’t want to spend it on the run like a fugitive…I’ll be careful.” He rubs my arms soothingly. “I’ve got to go... if I’m too long he’ll suspect something.” He kisses me again; this time it doesn’t seem like a goodbye kiss which is strange. I guess because he knows he is in control of the situation.

He gives everyone a tight smile. “Thanks.” He simply says. And walks out the door, climbs in his car and drives off.

When he’s gone Emm sums up all our feelings. “That’s one brave dude!”

….

RPOV

I take the four-hour drive to Seattle. I know the Cullen’s will have overtaken me along the way, they are amazing drivers, then I guess they have been at it a lot longer than me… And they aren’t human…

I put the ‘Borne Identity’ soundtrack in the cd player. I didn’t feel like any perky music, I was too on edge, nor could I exactly relax… I had never done anything remotely like this, but I knew I needed to be pumped. I needed to be ready for anything. James might be faster and stronger than me but he wasn’t smarter… I hoped. I needed to be on my toes ready to improvise a plan at a moment’s notice. I would only have to stall him for a minuet at the most… Hopefully he’s like one of those dumb ‘Bond’ villains who is willing to tell his life history to someone before he kills them.

I get to Seattle early and drive round the block till it’s 12:01... just to make sure... but I know that if something happened and they were late they would have called me. Knowing the Cullen’s, they had been here for 15 minutes or so and were probably on tenterhooks waiting for me.

I pulled the car up outside the front of the Church in the near deserted street.  As I got out of the car the theme ‘Treadstone assassins’ ran through my head, rather appropriate, though this time I hope the assassins win and the lone wolf loses. I climbed up the steps to the front door, the heavy bronze doors with simple sculptures on them depicting the salvation of mankind stood ajar.

I took a deep breath, imagining several sets of eyes on me; that gave me strength. With a shaking hand I opened the heavy door and walk inside.

The Cathedral was cavernous and decorated in baroque style like a mini St Peter’s. I hear Mum’s voice... it’s unnerving even though I know it can’t possibly be her.

“Riley, where are you?”

I play along, knowing that my life depends on James not touching on the fact he is walking into a trap.

“Mum? Where are you… are you alright?” I call.

“Riley, Riley, Riley,” she calls again… it’s coming from the altar… Still no sign of James. If he thinks this is a trap he could use me as a hostage to get free… I hadn’t thought of that in my plan had I? … fuck!

I walk central aisle, lined by wooden pews, up to the alter which lies in the middle of the cruciform shape of the Church. I climb the step up to its large stone mass and there sitting on top of it is Mum’s answering machine…

“Riley, Riley, Riley, where are you?” it says again. A heavily edited version of a phone message mum left and forgot to delete a couple of weeks ago when I forgot to come and get her form the shops because I had been “occupied” in my bedroom with Edward.

“You son of a bitch.” I said, pretending to be surprised that she wasn’t here.

His voice came from behind me… I whirred around to see him walking up the aisle I just came up.

“Sorry. But you really made it too easy.”

EPOV

I stood on the roof of the Skyline building opposite the front door of the Cathedral. From here I could see my family scattered over the surrounding buildings. We all had our ears craning on what was happening in the Cathedral.

I heard Mrs. Biers voice, even though we knew she wasn’t there, then I heard Riley playing along, calling to her. To someone who didn’t know him he would have sounded fine, but I knew he was scared. Really scared. I wish I could go and help him now… but that would tip off the tracker.

I then herd him sware at someone, then I heard James’s voice… that was the que, I saw my relatives jump off the roofs they were on, and I did likewise careering down the 20 odd stories to the ground and landing silently on the pavement as only a vampire could do. I then took off toward the Cathedral, I overtook my relatives and ran as fast as I could…

RPOV

Breath Riley, just breath… you just need to stall him... they are on their way as we speak… I move behind the stone sanctuary, appropriately named, but it will offer me little protection.

“It'll break Edward's little heart. His rage will make for more interesting sport than his feeble attempt to protect you.”

“I’m sorry if we didn’t amuse you. Next time we’ll try harder.”

“Still stubborn, aren't you? Is that what makes you special? Because frankly, I don't see it.”

He starts to walk around the alter towards me... I match his pace, keeping as far away from him as possible. This amuses him and he chuckles…

“Too bad he didn't have the strength to turn you. Instead, he kept you this fragile little human. It's      cruel, really.” He suddenly blurred round the alter and was directly in front of me…. Fuck! I thought; then abruptly he was gone and there was a loud crash of wood. I followed the noise and there was Edward pinning James to the pavement in the middle of a pile of splinters. Thank Christ; My hero!

But I thought to soon, James kicked Edward in the groin sending him flying over his head and into more pews that crumbled to matchwood.

Faster than the eye could follow James was up and had crash tackled the prone Edward and slammed him into the stone wall of the Cathedral, a large crack ran up it’s facing. 

“You're alone... because you're faster than the others. But not stronger.” James hisses then smashes Edward's head into the stone wall until his beautiful face begins to crack.

‘Fuck no!’ I think… ‘he’s going to kill him.’ I do the only thing I can think of that will help; I pull the Swiss army knife that Emm gave me from my pocket, pull out the largest blade and slice down my left arm severing the arteries and veins… Blood spurts out, I wave my arm around and blood splatters everywhere.

James suddenly stops bashing Edward into the wall and sniffs. The cracks in Edward’s head disappear. James turns to see me standing there, blood pooling at my feet. Edward then takes his moment, he spins James around and smashes him into the wall. “I'm strong enough to kill you.” He says menacingly.

There is the sound of smashing windows as Jaz and Emm jump through the windows. Rose, Alice, Esme and Carlisle are coming in from all angles. We have him.

James knows it… he kicks Edward will all his strength and sends him flying into more pews. Then picks his opponent and runs headlong into Carlisle sending him also flying into pews. He then kicks down the side door of the Church and is off.

“After him.” Jaz yells. And in a flash all but Carlisle is gone… He runs up to me.

“I’m fine, get James.” I say.

“You have lost a lot of blood. You are anything but fine.”  I must admit I was feeling a bit light headed, but I thought that might be shock setting in…

 “You have severed your radial artery. We need to stop this bleeding…” He says calmly and sits me down. At Vampire speed he tears his jacket and makes a pressure bandage… “Hold this, and squeeze it as tight as you can.” He says, He then removes his belt and make a tourniquet out of it.

EPOV

James had escaped. I yelled at vampire speed to Carlisle to help Riley.  I knew I was the fastest and had the best chance of getting the tracker. I wanted this to end tonight… I was REALLY pissed.

I climbed the nearest building and then ran over the roof tops, jumping from building to building. I knew my best hope was to tackle James head on and hold him up while my family catch up.

I could see my quarry running through the deserted streets. My family hot on his heels.

Jaz and Emm had scaled the nearby buildings and were bounding along half way up them at three story height like gibbons trying to get him in a pincer as the girls chased him at street level.

James turned left onto another street, it didn’t stop us…

James leapt over a slow moving but all but deserted bus, fortunately the driver didn’t notice this or my siblings following him.

I finally pulled ahead of him. Once I was sure I was far enough ahead I jumped down in front of him and ran straight at him; crash tackling him… We rolled along the pavement knocking down telegraph poles like nine pins as we went. He tried to kick me off, his favorite move… I saw it coming this time and jumped over his head and held him in a head lock. He struggled to free himself… He was stronger than me… I felt my hands slipping…

Suddenly Emm and Jaz jumped down from the buildings and grabbed him by the arms… he wasn’t going anywhere.

The girls arrived and it was all over.

Alice was about to rip his head off when I felt something.

“Wait!” I yelled. They all looked at me puzzled. “There are two of us still coming.”

Carlisle arrived carrying Riley. “He insisted… and you know how determined Riley can be when he wants something.” said Carlisle in explanation.

He placed Riley down and he stood unsteadily on his feet. I went to help him but he waved me off. He wanted to do this himself.

He used all his concentration to overcome his swimming head and walked shakily up to where James was being held and looked him in the eye.

“Seems you underestimated this prey?” Riley said with a smile that I didn’t like at all.

“What, you let your pet talk?’ James said bitterly.

“Kill him.” Said Riley coldly. A wave of shock ran through James. Not only of his upcoming demise, but that a human could order vampires what to do… it was his last thought as Alice ripped his head from his shoulders.

The usually squeamish Riley didn’t even blink.  Just stood there with that smile. He had always had a dark depth to him that scared me a little. I guess it’s what got him through all the misery he had seen, but it was unleashed tonight and it frightened me in its unrestrained horror. I hope it was just a response to the situation… Not a permanent change of personality.

“We need to rip him apart and burn the evidence.” explained Jaz.

“That alley should give us cover.” Added Emm.

“Wait…” said Riley. “Jaz, can you get me a souvenir of this evening… Pull his incisors out…” There was an intake of breath. Jaz compiled picking up the head and pulling the two top front teeth out and handing them to Riley.

“Thankyou.” He looked at them. I didn’t like what ran though his head. He was thinking what they could be used for… how you could kill a vampire at long range… it made my skin crawl.

“We need to get you to hospital.” Said Carlisle.

“Thanks.” Said Riley… “And everyone… thankyou… you saved me. I don’t know how to…”

“All part of a day’s work.” Said Emm with a nervous chuckle.

As we burned the body using any wood we could find Esme went and got Carlisle’s car and we drove Riley to hospital.

He was taken into surgery to repair the artery, given a transfusion and put on a drip.

The hospital wanted to contact his next of kin, I wasn’t happy with the idea, but Carlisle said it was only right that Mrs. Biers is notified.

“That’s if she cares.” I said bitterly.

I never left his side once he was out of theater.

Riley woke up from the anesthetic.

“Hey,” I said going to sit by his side.

“Hi… I feel like crap.” Riley replied.

“Not surprising, that was a dangerous thing you did.”

“Worked though,” he said with a smile. “Anyway you can’t talk about dangerous things, what happened to waiting and coming in with the rest of them?”

“I couldn’t wait… the image of finding your crumpled broken body kept running through my head… I couldn’t risk it; I couldn’t trust James.”

“I’m not mad…. I’m glad you did; I don’t know how I could have held him off any longer…”

“You saved my life.” I said mater-of-factly.

“You saved mine.” He returned. We both chuckled at the concept. How our lives had gone from normal to crazy and back to nearly normal again.

“How long have I been out?” he asked.

“ ’bout 8 hours. They gave you a sedative… They think you… given your record.” I felt so guilty for that, but surely it shouldn’t matter.

“Fuck, that’s going to be chasing me round all my life.” He said annoyed.

“Sorry.” Was all I could say.

“Edward, I’m the one who did the dumb thing, instead of talking it over I jumped to the wrong conclusion. “

“Still.”

“Let’s just forget it for now… were alive, that’s all that matters…” Riley finished.

I nodded in agreement.

We sat in companionable silence for a while.

“This isn’t how I imagined last night would go… I was hoping to finally get into that bed you promised me.” He said with a dirty smile.

“I’m sure when you are out of here and recovered we can make amends for that.” I said.

“Is that what they are calling it now, making amends? Well I can’t wait till you ‘make amends’ my brains out.” He joked… “God, it’s been over two weeks… that’s like six months in gaydom.”

I chuckled… then I felt two people enter the waiting room outside… the last two people I wanted to see here… it wiped the smile off my face.

Riley picked up my mood “What is it Edward?”

I didn’t answer… I didn’t need to. Riley was looking at the open door. Where the two people stood… All color drained from his face.

In the doorway stood Mrs. Biers and beside her Chief Swan.

“I’ve come to take you home.” Riley’s mother said.

Then the Chief spoke up, he didn’t like what he was going to say, but it was his duty “The local Court has approved Mrs. Biers restraining order, it has ruled that Riley have no further contact with any of the Cullen family.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear me, the boys just can’t get a break can they?
> 
> This story wasn’t supposed to end like this, it was supposed to end with Riley and Edward in each other’s arms, but the characters just took it over while I was writing. Still life’s not meant to be easy, and don’t the boys know that!
> 
> Hope you guys have a great holiday and I’ll be back in the New Year with the next chapter…

**Author's Note:**

> End Notes-  
> First, thank you all for sticking with this, I hope you enjoyed it.  
> This story was originally going to be a lot darker, a sad statement about the futility of life with Edward being too late to save Riley (it was the head space I was in) but as I re-read it, I saw a more important message come forth… that even when life seems pointless, you still need to keep on going, more people than your realise care about you. You just need to give them a chance to show it.  
> More importantly, anyone who is reading this who feels like Riley or knows someone who does, please get help… Suicide is the largest killer of under 30’s and same sex attracted people in the western world. You don’t have to just ‘try and live with it’. Every country has free call hotlines to give help and advice, please! I implore you to use them. If you know someone who has been having mood swings, depressed or talking about ending things please talk to them, if you don’t know what to say call the help lines and they will advise you. I can guarantee you that one awkward conversation is much better than a lifetime of regret and” why didn’t I ask him/her if they were ok?”  
> Now… (Climbs of soap box.)  
> This story is part of a longer novel sized work I’m writing, no doubt you noticed there was a lot of back story that was hinted at or left out. This chapter occurs about two thirds of the way through the story arc, which starts with the Cullen’s first day at Forks high and ending at college. This was one of the most powerful parts of the story so I thought it best to test the waters with this… if anyone likes my writing then I’ll publish updates as regularly I can. Starting from Edward and Riley’s first meeting. It’s not all as bleak as this chapter, in fact since I tend to believe that life is stranger and certainly far sillier than fiction (maybe that’s just my life)some of this story is quite zany….  
> Also a big thank you to the great KellanCugar for giving me the nudge that got me to man up and start posting. I should say she hasn’t pre-read this and can in no way be blamed for it. Thanks again KC!  
> Another song that works as a backing track for this is David Guetta (ft. Sia) She Wolf... I'd encourage you to listen to them all and re-read. She Wolf - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3OPox7MBqs . Time of your life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwnoNVOj1Fs . Like a Prayer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OECKknqIie0 .  
> Also anyone interested in Xavier Samuel should check out the Australian short movie “Drowning” it’s very moving (and you see him in his undies) here’s a link http://orvel.me/drowning-2009/  
> So again thanks for reading! (Waits nervously for first comment...)


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